The Darkness Won't Have You
by gothraven89
Summary: After the whole debacle with the lawsuit Buck is shunned from his family and isolated at the firehouse. Fate just piles it on as a route check up turns into waiting on test results to see if he actually has a life threatening illness. Could this be the catalyst to everyone patching things up? Or will it be the final straw for Buck? Buck/Eddie and Fatherly Bobby and Firefam.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not now, nor have I ever owned the rights to 911 or its characters. It all belongs to Fox TV and the show's creators like Brad Falchuk and whoever else.

Special Shout out to **the_scarlet_01**, a truly brilliant author on AO3 who wrote the story **"Fear in the Shadows"** from which this prompt was taken.

Based loosely on the Prompt: Buck is isolated and shunned after the lawsuit fiasco so when he starts to feel weird. He goes for a check up and doctors find a shadow on his lung or liver and tell him he needs a biopsy. A terrified Buck keeps this to himself, feeling that he can't go to the team because they're all so mad at him. On the day of the biopsy Athena happens to be at the hospital and sees Buck being wheeled in for the procedure. She is horrified and then furious as she goes to the team. They rush to Buck.

Note: Might not follow the entire prompt exactly, slight AU from the show.

Warning: Possible life threatening illness, strong language, and sexual content. Apologies in advance if anyone seems OOC.

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The Darkness Can't Have You

Chapter 1

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The bite of the needle was sharp as it penetrated the skin of Buck's arm and dug deeper to reach the vein below.

Buck winced but kept his eyes steady as he watched the unnamed nurse draw his blood into three separate vials. It was a morbidly fascinating sight watching his blood lightly spurt out and fill the delicate glass.

His blood... the cause of much of the upheaval in his life as of late.

He had coughed up a lot of it at his welcome back party and collapsed when the blood clots that had developed due to his leg getting crushed had traveled to his lungs. Having to go on blood thinners because of this malfunction, Bobby keeping him off the team because of it, which had of course led to him filing a lawsuit to get his job back. That had gone spectacularly well with the people he loved most beyond pissed at him because the bottom-feeding attorney he had hired had used everything Buck had told him about his teammates to go for the jugular.

He had dropped the lawsuit and he had been allowed back to work, make to the one's who mattered most to him. However, he hadn't been exactly welcomed back.

There had been no welcome back party.

Bobby kept him off calls and stuck him with the worst chores. He still referred to him as "Buckley" and just looked at him with disappointment and annoyance.

Chim and Hen talked to him at least, but it was stilted and Buck knew they were still a little pissed at him for sharing personal information about them, and for making Cap out to be the bad guy.

Eddie though, Eddie was all the way pissed at him and made it abundantly clear he wanted the whole firehouse to know it. When he wasn't completely ignoring Buck he would yell at him for even the most minor screw up.

From where he sat Buck felt his heart give a painful, almighty lurch because Eddie yelling at him or ignoring him was okay, Buck could deal with it. The worst thing that happened because of Buck's lawsuit disaster was that Eddie told him flat out that he wasn't allowed to see Christopher, just call him sometimes and even then Eddie wouldn't let them speak for very long, always telling Chris that Buck was busy with something.

It tore Buck's heart to shreds each time.

He missed that darling angel with all of his heart. He missed the way he would through his head back when he laughed and smiled that megawatt grin of his. He missed the adorable way he shuffled when he walked, the sound his walking canes would make against the floor, his sweet voice calling him HIS Buck, and most of all he missed holding Chris in his arms, feeling for himself that the child was safe and alive after everything they went through together, despite him having lost Chris during the tsunami.

Another thing that Buck would never forgive himself for. He still had nightmares about the water and losing Chris, and this distance from his only support system just amplified and worsened them. Now he saw his family's disappointment in him, their recrimination, and most prominently, Eddie's hate.

He loved Chris so much, but he also loved Eddie. What a sucky time to realize he had fallen in love with his best friend on top of everything else he was going through.

Buck had even stopped going over to Maddie's since the couple of times he had gone there and seen Chim, things had gotten really, really awkward. His big sis was finally in a good place with a greta guy like Chim, the last thing Buck wanted to do was contaminate that with his issues and his unhappiness, his heartache.

It had been two months since Buck had come back to work, and nothing was fixed, in fact everything had gotten worse.

He might not have been told to his face but it was clear he wasn't welcome to communal meals at the Firehouse, or to gatherings outside of it. He had to find out through facebook and instagram about dinners and get togethers, had to sit in his cold and empty apartment and stare at the pictures of everyone smiling and being together. The horrid feeling of being on the outside looking in.

No one had thought once to invite him, and even though Maddie would always call and ask where he was or when he would be showing up, he'd just make a plausible excuse to avoid going. He was thankful that Maddie was only at some of these events, so her suspicions hadn't been fully raised. If Maddie knew about how alienated he felt, she would surely go on the warpath.

Buck was shaken from his melancholy thoughts by the nurse's pleasant voice.

" Alright Mr. Buckley, we are all set. You can head back over to the doctor, he would like to discuss things a bit more with you." The nurse with kind brown eyes and dark blond hair said with a reassuring smile.

Buck tried to smile back at the kindly nurse but it most likely looked like a grimace. The nurse just gave him an understanding look as he got up from the medical chair and all but fled back to the doctor's office.

The doctor was a tall and built man in his early forties, salt and pepper hair and a calmness about him that served him well considering his field.

Oncology.

" What happens now Dr. Matthews?" Buck asked as he sat across from the good doctor.

" Well Mr. Buckley, the test is going to take some time but we would call you in as soon as we get the results. I have to again assure you that this is just a precaution because of the bruising Dr. Wilson observed on your back during your regular check up and that I saw for myself. Given that you are still on blood thinners and your overall health over wise, the chances of the test coming back positive are indeed very low." Dr. Matthews assured.

" But there is still a chance that I could have leukemia" Buck said sadly, bluntly.

" Unfortunately there is always a chance of something going wrong, we won't know for sure until we get your test results back in two weeks." Dr. Matthews said with an apologetic look.

" I understand." Buck says with a tired smile.

They spoke more, Dr. Matthews trying to assure Buck further, hating to see the resignation that was clear in Buck's eyes and feeling powerless to chase it away, because there really wasn't much else that he could do until he had the young man's test results.

Only after that could they determine the next step for Evan Buckley.

Buck left Dr. Matthews' office in a daze, while the hospital went about with its normal flurry of activity around him. It was like he was walking through cement while everyone else was going at twice the speed.

Leukemia... He might have fucking blood cancer now on top of everything else.

Buck was so lost in his quiet terror and dejection he didn't once notice the pair of shrewd dark eyes watching him from a few feet away as he headed towards the elevator to leave the hospital. From where she stood Sergeant Athena Grant frowned in displeasure. She had come here to check up on the victim of a carjacking that had happened earlier in the day, the poor man having actually been dragged several feet by the seatbelt as the high on PCP teenager who had tried to steal his car had driven down the street wildly. The teenage had crashed into a concrete barricade and given himself a nice big concussion. Thankfully the man had not been too severely injured, just sporting some painful road-rash. The 118 had responded but Athena had observed that a certain blue eyed young firefighter had once again been tellingly absent.

When Athena had casually asked her dear husband where Evan Buckley was at, Bobby had shrugged and said there were chores that needed to be tended to back at the Firehouse. It hadn't been lost on Athena how quietly furious Eddie Diaz had grown at the mere mention of Buck, while Hen had grown sad, and Chim looked guilty. Bobby on the other hand had been stone-faced but Athena knew her husband well, she could see that he was trying to keep his own sadness and longing for Buck from showing.

Athena stepped forward and looked around the corner and down the hallway that Buck had just emerged from and felt her heart slam to a dead stop inside her chest.

Buck had come out of the Oncology Department. That boy, her boy whether she wanted to admit it or not, had just come out of the Department dedicated to treating the worst kind of illness known to man.

Cancer.

Athena turned back sharply towards the elevators, her frown doubling before she shook her head.

No not Buck, Buck was fine he probably just came in for a checkup and the doctor's office happened to be located in the same place as the oncology department. She wasn't going to panic and jump to conclusions, and besides that Buck would surely tell Bobby if something this huge was going down.

Shaking her head but with a lingering anxiety taking hold in the pit of her stomach, Athena turned away and headed over to the other side of the hospital to check on the drugged out teenager who had injured himself severely after causing yesterday's mess. At the very least that boy would be getting a stern talking to, headache and all.

Later that evening while she and Bobby were sitting down to a cozy dinner for two while Harry and May were at Michael's for the night, Athena tried to bring up the subject of what she saw.

" Glad to hear yesterday's carjacking victim's gonna be okay, road rash is no fun though." Bobby said lightly as he pushed around the salad on his plate.

" Mm-hm. How are things at the Firehouse?" She asked casually as she took a bite of the delicious lemon chicken.

" Everything's okay, running smoothly." Bobby answered lightly.

" And Buck?" Athena pressed carefully.

She resisted the urge to roll her eyes as she watched her husband immediately shut down.

" Bobby how much longer are you going to keep him on the bench?" Athena asked quietly.

" Until he learns he's not invincible and there are consequences to his actions." Bobby said with finality and a stubborn set to his face.

" You sure you're not just punishing him for the sake of punishing him? He's already apologized for the lawsuit a dozen times, and he didn't do it out of malice, he just wanted to get back at the job he loves, but more importantly the people he cares for." Athena said with a shake of her head.

" It's because I care about him that I am doing all this Athena. I have seen him hurt too many times because of his own recklessness. I am going to do what I have to, to get him to learn, and to keep him safe." Bobby said, even though some of his reasons sounded a little hollow in his own ears.

He was still mad at Buck about the lawsuit, because it actually had cut him deeply that the kid, who pretty much was his kid had gone and done this, had hired that jerk Chase Mackey and naively blabbed their personal information to him.

Athena sighed, knowing that at this point Bobby wasn't willing to see that his own actions had consequences, that the rest of the Firehouse was following his lead and that it could lead to making things worse.

What Athena didn't know just yet was that Bobby's actions and attitude had already led to Buck being pretty much ostracized at the Firehouse.

_One week later..._

Athena made her way into the Firehouse eager to see her husband and the rest of the team, but especially the youngest. This last week had been so hectic for Athena with fools losing their minds left and right, robberies, road rage, and even a runaway miniature pony that she hadn't been able to stop by and keep tabs of Buck like she had wanted after seeing him at the hospital that day.

Well today Buck was going to get her full attention, she was going to get some answers from him.

Athena nodded to a couple of the other firefighters that called the Firehouse home as she passed them, being careful to stay out of sight of her husband and any of the others like Eddie or Hen. She looked high and low and then finally spotted Buck through the glass of the locker room area. She could see the slumped curve of Buck's spine, he was the picture of utter dejection and it made something in the veteran police sergeant ache. Athena frowned in confusion as to why he was sitting in the locker room with no indication that he would be moving anytime soon when it was lunchtime and it looked like everyone else was gathered upstairs.

As she drew closer to the locker room, Athena pulled off her glasses and resisted the urge to gasp at what she saw.

Buck was sitting on the bench all alone. Athena's heart plummeted to her feet when she saw Buck's face. Even in profile he looked absolutely awful. His face was paler than a sheet, making the signature birthmark over his left eye look almost like it was a bleeding wound.

There were dark circles under his eyes that looked honestly more like bruises, and his face once so vibrant and full of life was now gaunt and sickly looking. His eyes, once so bright were now almost dull to the point of being gray, and if Athena looked closer she could see that they were red and irritated, as if not too long ago Buck had shed tears.

Not being able to stand it anymore, Athena silently stepped over the threshold into the locker room, closing the door behind her as she spoke.

" Buck?" She called quietly.

Buck let out a startled gasp, scrambling to his feet looking like he wanted to run as fast as he could but he knew he was trapped and stayed frozen where he was.

" H-Hey Athena, what are you doing here?" Buck asked with false normality.

" Oh I was in the neighborhood and thought I would stop by for lunch. Why don't you have a seat so we can catch up, haven't seen you in ages." Athena said gently as she gestured for Buck to sit back down on the bench.

Buck knew there was no use in fighting Athena Grant so he deflated fully and nodded.

" Yes Ma'am." Buck said quietly, averting his gaze and sitting on the bench like he'd been told.

That little "Yes Ma'am" just about made Athena's heart die. Athena quickly reigned in her emotions, knowing she needed to stay objective as she stepped forward and took a seat beside the young firefighter.

" Buck?" She asked firmly, waiting for the young man to turn and actually look at her before she spoke.

" What are you doing down here when everyone else is upstairs?"She asked calmly.

Buck's face crumbled for a moment before he forced it into a barely nonchalant smile and shook his head.

" Just didn't feel like meat loaf today." He said with a shrug.

" You absolutely love Meatloaf Mondays, so you wanna try that again Buckaroo?" Athena asked with a knowing look.

She was taken aback for a second when Buck's face crumbled and he barely kept the sobs back. Athena reached out and gripped Buck's shoulder firmly, looking at him questioningly.

" I love it when you call me Buckaroo Athena." Buck said with a strangled little huff tinted with complete despair.

" Okay." Athena said, feeling her own emotions rising but expertly pushing them back as she rubbed Buck's shoulder and continued.

" I love calling you that too, has it been really long since anyone's called you that?" She asked gently.

" Y-Yeah, I can't remember the last time anyone here's really said anything to me that wasn't an order to clean stuff or just yelling at me. Cap doesn't call me Buck anymore and everyone else does the same." Buck said honestly.

Athena felt mortified at hearing this, but she had the sinking feeling that this was just the tip of the iceberg.

" Buck?" Athena said as she let go of Buck's shoulder to cup his face, waiting for him to meet her eyes before she continued.

" Tell me everything that's been going on here, tell me every single thing." She said, her dark eyes like to orbs of hard obsidian and her tone leaving no room for argument.

Taking in a deep breath and knowing that there was no use in fighting Athena Grant of all people, Buck began to speak.

He started by answering Athena's earlier question and revealing that he wasn't exactly welcome at the table for communal meals anymore, that in the beginning he would try to include himself but he would get these looks that questioned why he had the audacity to join them. Chim and Hen would try to include him but Bobby was usually stonefaced and Eddie would just glare at him or outright leave the table saying he wasn't hungry and then everyone would look at Buck with blame. To keep the peace Buck had started eating meals on his own, bringing things from home or Bobby would make him a sandwich without much love in it and he'd eat in seclusion. Today the hurt was just proving to hard to ignore and he had ruined his sandwich to boot.

Once the initial trickle of information started, a great deluge followed as Buck finally spilled everything to Athena.

From how Bobby kept him from nearly every call, made him do all of the chores from cleaning the rigs, organizing the supplies, to even scrubbing the floors and toilet. Whenever he would try to run when there was a call, Bobby would just call out "You're not going on this one Buckley." and whenever he tried to protest in the beginning it was always "My house, my rules." Everyone else just stayed mum, while some of the other fire fighters in the house would snigger and rub it in his face. Hell even Eddie did that to him a whole bunch of times, making snide comments every chance he got and ignoring him the rest of the time.

Buck even revealed that while the team is away and he's back at the firehouse, some of the other firefighters who weren't on the call deliberately did nasty things to make life harder for him here at the station

Hen and Chim talked to him but they kept their walls up, no doubt not wanting him to blab about their personal business again. He just stopped talking all that much in general and kept his head down. Buck hadn't seen Karen and Denny once in these two months, save for the few pictures he sees of them on social media. It's the same with Christopher, Eddie more or less barring him from seeing the little boy he loved so dearly.

Phone calls here and there could never fill the void in Buck's very soul.

Worse still Buck felt he couldn't turn to Maddie or to Athena, not because he felt like they wouldn't hear him out but because he didn't want to cause them any trouble with their significant others, especially not with Bobby riding him so hard.

Athena sat completely horrified by what she was hearing, struck speechless by the sheer level of stupidity and vindictiveness shown not only some of Los Angeles' finest Fire fighters, but her own husband and friends.

Buck was not blameless in the entire fiasco that unfolded but he hadn't done any of it out of spite or malice, he just wanted to get back to the job he loved, and the people he loved even more. It was at that moment that Athena's heart froze dead inside her chest as a long forgotten memory suddenly came to the very forefront of her mind.

A week ago at the hospital, seeing Buck as he was leaving, looking around the corner and seeing the signs for the Oncology department.

No... please no.

" I am so sorry you had to go through this Buck, and that you felt you couldn't come to me or to Maddie but there is something I need to ask you." Athena said, the barest tremor in her voice but her eyes basically boring holes into Buck, meaning she wanted nothing but the truth.

" W-What Athena?" Buck asked quietly, his heart hammering against his sternum.

" What were you doing at the hospital last week? Don't say you weren't there because I was, and I saw you leave." Athena said.

Buck looked like a deer caught in the headlights, he stopped breathing for a moment before he just deflated and let out a small sob. Athena could stand the distance no longer, her instincts as a mother kicking in as she hooked her hand around Buck's neck and pulled him to her. She tucked Buck's head under her chin and wrapped in him a tight hug, hard enough to nearly squeeze the air out of him.

" Tell me what's going on Buckaroo, I am right here, I am not going anywhere." Athena soothed.

Letting out a shaky breath and reaching up to clutch at one of Athena's forearms with his hands, Buck finally spilled the secret he had been holding in and dealing with all by himself for the past week.

_A few minutes later..._

Everyone was enjoying the variety of pasta dishes Bobby had whipped up for lunch. Bobby sat at the table and looked around, feeling his stomach sink when he saw that a certain blue eyed young man wasn't among them. He caught Eddie's eye and the younger man averted his gaze, actually looking guilty. Hen and Chim soon followed, the beautiful black woman looking like she was about to get up and go get Buck from where ever he had holed himself up. Hen wouldn't get the chance as she spotted an unexpected but familiar face.

" Athena hey." Hen said with a smile, rising up from her seat while the others all turned to wave and greet the seasoned police sergeant and their Captain's wife.

The smiles quickly died though when everyone caught sight of Athena's face. Bobby frowned and quickly rose to his feet.

" Athena, what's going on?" Bobby asked as he stepped forward.

Dark, icy eyes settled on him, making him stop dead in his tracks. For what seemed like a life-age Athena just stared at him and then slowly raked her eyes over everyone else that was sitting at the table, enjoying lunch like it was any other day. Then she resettled her gaze on her husband and finally spoke.

" Oh, a lot is going on here Captain Robert Nash." She said with her voice deathly quiet and her eyes actually seeming to ignite with unbridled fury.

Before she could say anything a shuffling behind her had Athena and everyone else turning to see a pale and lightly trembling Buck making his way up the stairs, wiping futilely at his tears that still stained his cheeks.

" Athena please don't-" Buck said desperately as he made his way to Athena, looking close to shattering.

" No way, I am not gonna let this go on for one moment longer Evan." Athena said before she placed herself between Buck and Bobby and returned her glare at her husband and the other firefighters.

Bobby looked between his wife and his youngest firefighter, utterly confused and concerned. Chim looked just as confused and even a little scared because Athena Grant in a pissed off state was a sight to behold. Hen gazed at Buck and finally saw just how gaunt and utterly awful her friend looked. He had lost weight and he looked just moments away from shattering. Eddie rose to his feet and glared balefully at Buck, pushing down his own concern and letting anger cloud over everything else. With a disgusted snort Eddie stepped forward.

" What Buckley, you go and whine to Athena about how awful we are? Huh?" He seethed, glaring daggers at Buck.

" Don't see any problem with that when all of you have actually been just that Goddamn awful so back the hell up and shut you mouth Diaz." Athena countered, still with that dangerous tone to her voice.

Eddie looked to Athena, part of him wanting to be defiant but he knew better than to go up against the sergeant. He took a step back and went back to glaring at Buck with ever ounce of hostility he was feeling. Behind him and Bobby some of the other firefighters were sending similar looks at Buck, and that just ticked Athena off to a whole other level as she spoke to Bobby.

" What kind of house are you running here Captain?" She asked loudly.

" I don't know what Buckley here told you but rest assured, everyone in this house had been a consummate professional." Bobby said with confidence.

" Oh really?" Athena asked with fake pleasantness as she placed her hands on her hips and tilted her head back a bit.

Hen felt her stomach drop because she knew that as the universal pose of "Boy am I about to Drop a Bomb on you Honey."

" So Johnson over there didn't deliberately spill hot coffee here in the kitchen and order Buck to clean it up while it was still hot as hell?" Athena began, her eyes zeroing in on Johnson, the tall black man flinching and looking guilty when all eyes turned to him.

But Athena wasn't done.

" So Ricciutti standing over there didn't walk all over the floors Buck spent an hour mopping just to make him mop it again, smirking at him while she did it?" She said as her eyes went to a petite brunette female firefighter who's face suddenly flushed red with shame.

" And the piece de resistance, Coleman over there threatening to shove Buck into one of the urinals and throwing a urinal cake at his back hard enough to actually leave a goddamn bruise after he was benched again from a call and you told him to clean the mens room from top to bottom like he's some fucking servant." Athena finished, glaring murderously at Bobby and the mildly rotund, mustached older gentleman who gaze back at her with wide, fearful eyes.

Bobby stood stunned while Eddie's mouth actually hung open. Chim and Hen both rushed forward, wanting to get to Buck to make sure he was alright but stopping in their tracks when Buck flinched at their approach and gazed at them with mistrust in his blue eyes.

" Buck is all of this true?" Bobby asked quietly once the ability to speak returned to him, his expression one of utter disbelief as he took a slow step closer.

Buck eyed him with such wariness it made Bobby's chest physically hurt as the younger man nodded mutely, looking like he was barely holding on to his composure.

" Why didn't you say anything?" Eddie asked, looking genuinely puzzled.

Hearing Eddie's words, seeing the look on his face, Buck finally reached his breaking point as the shaking left him and his eyes were suddenly blazing a thousand times higher than Athena's and his face actually turned an alarming shade of grey as he slowly turned to look at Eddie. Eddie felt his breath actually stutter and the hairs stand on end at the back of his neck Buck just stared at Eddie for several long and uncomfortable moment before he stepped past Athena and stood to full, towering height as he finally spoke.

" Why the hell would I go to you Diaz? So you can tell me to just suck it up and quit whining? Tell me again how the rest of you don't complain about the shit going on in your lives" He asked quietly.

Eddie felt the bottom drop out of his stomach as his own angry words from that day at the grocery store were thrown back at his face with devastating accuracy.

" B-Buck I-" Eddie stuttered and then fell silent, looking absolutely mortified.

" Buck I know that I've been a little hard on you-" Bobby began to say and that just set Athena off before Buck could say anything.

" A little hard? Robert Nash do you have any idea just what what your so called "tough Love" has done not only to Buck but this firehouse as a whole? Look at him, just look at the state he is in. Do you see how baggy his uniform is and how deep the smudges under his eyes are. When was the last time he ate with you all up here? When was the last time he came over for dinner with any of you outside of work?" Athena asked, even though she had a good idea as to the answer herself.

Whatever color was left in Bobby's face drained away, Eddie looked like he was seconds away from being physically ill, Hen already had tears streaming down her face and Chim hung his head looking ready to join her.

" Your attitude and this continued punishment you passed off as a life lesson has made this place dangerous for one of your own men, and the real scumbags in this house took full advantage of the captain and his main team having their heads inserted all the way up their asses." Athena said scathingly as she looked past her husband and his team to the trio of assholes still standing by the dinner table.

Athena was about to go even more off the railed when Buck stepped closer to her and shook his head.

" Please Athena, this is why I didn't tell you and Maddie, I didn't want you ripping Bobby apart in front of everyone. He's still my Captain." Buck said as some of the hardness left his face, replaced by this all consuming despair.

" Buck?" Bobby asked, not really believing what he was hearing and seeing.

Buck turned to Bobby and the tears finally broke free as he spoke.

" I kept hoping that if I apologized enough and just kept my head down and did whatever you asked, you'd see that I was getting what you were trying to teach me, that I would get all of you back eventually because that was all I ever wanted. You guys are the people who matter the most to me because who else besides Maddie do I have?" Buck asked, making everybody's hearts lurch painfully, Bobby's most of all.

" Kid I-" Bobby began to say as he tried to reach out to Buck but he stopped when the young man shrank away and shook his head.

Athen stepped behind Buck, her eyes still hard as she reached out and wrapped her hand around Buck's diminished bicep, squeezing it hard as she spoke only to him.

" We can go Buck, forget about the rest of your shift, I'll take you to Maddie's, I'll take you to Eddie's so you can see Christopher-" She said when Buck cut her off with a heartbreaking look.

" I am not allowed to see Christopher Athena." Buck said before he turned hurt-filled eyes to Eddie.

" I only get to call him every now and then because that is all Eddie will let me do." He explained.

Athena was about to go ballistic when seeing the looks of horrified shock on her husband, Hen, and Chim's faces stopped her. At least they didn't know about this, but it didn't stop her from sending an absolutely disgusted look Eddie's way. Eddie could only look away and feel shame and guilt course through him at his own cruelty towards his best friend, the man he was secretly in love with.

He had wanted to hurt Buck for breaking off contact, for "abandoning" him and Chris, and he had succeeded greatly.

Buck reached up with his other hand and wiped away the tears, composing himself and straightening his spine before he looked to everyone and addressed the members of the firehouse as a whole.

" I know that Johnson, Ricciutti, and Coleman aren't the only ones who can't stand me since I sued the department and Cap, and then I just came waltzing back in here thinking everything would go back to the way it was and it would be sunshine and roses. Well I guess whoever is running the universe was listening to all of you." Buck said cryptically before he turned his pale eyes to Coleman and smiled emptily at the older man, pointing at him as he spoke.

" You all should give a big fat thank you to Coleman over here. If he hadn't thrown that urinal cake so hard and bruised up my back like he did I wouldn't have needed to go to the doctor when it wouldn't heal properly even after I iced it as best I could for days. Guess what you guys? My doctor sent me to the hospital, to go see a specialist and now I am waiting for test results to see whether or not I have fucking leukemia." Buck declared with painful grandeur for all to hear even as his eyes began to fill again.

The moment his words registered, it was like all the air instantly got sucked out of the entire Firehouse.

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Hi everyone! This is my first Buddie fic and I hope it is worthy of all of you. The prompt resonated with me profoundly and I hope I gave it a good start. Please feel free to send me any ideas you all might have for Buddie fics. The angstier and more dramatic the better. Enjoy!


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not now, nor have I ever owned the rights to 911 or its characters. It all belongs to Fox TV and the show's creators like Brad Falchuk and whoever else.

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Warning: Strong language and upsetting issues

Chapter 2

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Everyone was frozen where they stood, all eyes focused on Buck. After an eternity it was Bobby who finally unfroze himself and strode forward. He reached out and gripped Buck's upper arm, gently but firmly pulled the younger man around to turn and face him.

Wide, disbelieving coffee brown eyes stared into those of desolate blue as Bobby looked Buck in the face. Neither spoke for the longest time before Bobby finally broke the horrific silence.

" What did you just say Evan?" Bobby asked, his own voice sounding alien and far away in his own ears as he reached up and took Buck's face into his hands.

Buck blinked at the contact from Bobby but didn't reject it, a single tear broke free and carved a bitter trail down his cheek as he spoke.

" You heard right Captain Nash, the bruise wouldn't go away so I went to my regular doctor. He was concerned enough to send me to Dr. Matthews at the hospital and he took my blood to get it tested because he wanted to make sure I don't have fucking blood cancer." Buck said flatly as he watched Bobby's face grown even more horrified than it already was.

To Athena's grim satisfaction there was horror written on every single face in attendance. Johnson's face had lost all color, Ricciutti had promptly burst into tears and was sobbing in a corner, and Coleman had sunk back down into the chair he had been sitting in, looking like he was a few seconds away from collapsing, a horrified guilt radiating off of him in waves. Thankfully these three weren't going anywhere because despite the turmoil that was unfolding, the other firefighters were surrounding the three offenders, barring any escape even though the trio were staying put on their own accord.

" It's true, I was there at the hospital to check on the victim and the perp who were involved in that carjacking last week. I saw him leaving but he didn't see me and when I looked at where he was coming from, it was the Oncology department. I didn't say anything because I talked myself into thinking he was just walking past that department, not that he was coming directly from there." Athena said, her voice wavering a bit as she reached up and ran her hand across Buck's shoulder before hardening herself once more as Buck spoke directly to Bobby.

" I mean my defective blood's been messing up everything ever since that truck crushed my leg, so this is just the latest way. I'll know in another week and then you can all start counting the days till I finally bite it and-" Buck said when Eddie was suddenly right there in his face, all but knocking Bobby out of the way with his hands fisted in the front of Buck's uniform to the point where his usually olive-toned knuckles had turned white, a wild and desperate look in his eyes.

" You do _not_ have fucking cancer. You hear me, _you do not have fucking cancer_ so stop talking like that!" Eddie seethed as his own blood roared in his ears and his heart pounded like a drum inside his chest.

" Eddie stop! Let go of him!" Chim urged as he and Hen came forward to try and pry away Eddie's death grip.

It was of no use and Bobby wordlessly got Hen and Chin to give it up. Bobby could tell that Buck and Eddie needed this confrontation. Whether it would lead to something good or something bad was anyone's guess and quite honestly, even as the captain of this house, at the moment Bobby's brain was bared functioning.

" Why the fuck are you even getting so worked up for Diaz? What does it matter to you? You've already kicked me out of your life and Christopher's. I might be out of your hair for good once I get the call from Dr. Matthews." Buck said, his voice cracking on Christopher's name.

One moment Eddie was glaring wildly at him and then next moment his face was crumbling as tears gushed from his eyes and he yanked Buck all the way into his arms, wrapping him in a rib-bending hug as he spoke into Buck's ear.

" NO, NO GOD PLEASE NO! This is not the way it's gonna go down. I won't allow it! I-I can't!" Eddie almost yelled, desperation in every word.

Part of Buck was stunned, completely overwhelmed that he was in Eddie's arms, effectively being crushed by the man he loved, but then he remembered the ordeal of the past two months, and every callous and hurtful thing Eddie did or said and he wanted Eddie as far away from him as possible. It was his turn to be angry for once.

" Get off me! GET THE HELL OFF ME YOU ASSHOLE!" Buck cried, his eyes blazing once again as he reached up and tried to shove Eddie away, all the while with the cobbled pieces of his heart shattering for the millionth time, his whole body on fire with fresh agony.

Athena felt warring emotions as she watched Buck and Eddie struggling with each other, Buck wanting to recoil while Eddie just coiled himself around Buck even tighter to prevent it. Bobby had tears silently running down his own face, at a complete loss for what to do or even what to say. Hen had silent sobs wracking her frame and Chim just looked completely lost as he stood between Hen and Bobby, all of their eyes focused on Eddie and Buck.

" Let go you prick!" Buck yelled desperately.

" No!" Eddie yelled back just as desperate.

" Let me go!" Buck said with another futile shove.

" Not a chance in hell!" Eddie replied loudly for all to hear before he leaned in and pressed his lips to Buck's ear so that his next words were for him, and him alone.

" I love you Evan, I love you damn it. " He whispered brokenly.

Buck gasped as Eddie's words registered, freezing in Eddie's arms so the older man tightened his hold further. When Buck's ability to speak came back to him, he told Eddie exactly what he thought of Eddie's whispered but no less profound declaration.

" Liar." He said through gritted teeth as he stiffened back up in Eddie's arms.

" You're a goddamn liar!" He screamed through strangled cords as angry tears spilled down his cheeks.

Eddie shut his eyes, feeling Buck's words like hot knives to his heart but not surprised that his best friend, that man he had just declared his love for didn't believe him, not after the way Eddie had treated Buck for these past two whole months.

Eddie drew back and looked desperately up at Buck, the taller man glaring at him furiously. Taking a deep breath and pushing down the urge to sob, Eddie spoke.

" I know I have no right to ask you to believe me, that out of everyone here I was the biggest bastard to you but I do, I do with all my heart, please, please believe me. I swear to you I do, I swear on Christopher I do." Eddie said brokenly as a couple of tears finally broke free from his eyes, the normally stoic and composed arm vet not caring that he was falling apart in front of his entire firehouse.

All he cared about was the man he was holding in his arms, the man he drove away because he had been angry and now could possibly lose to a life-threatening illness.

Buck's eyes widened when he heard Eddie's words, the older man having actually swore on his beloved son that the words he had said in his ear, that profound declaration was the truth. Buck didn't know what to do, or what to think.

" I can't, I can't do this right now. Please Eddie, just let go of me." Buck said in a tone that held no room for argument.

With gritted teeth Eddie forced himself to obey, releasing his hold on Buck and withdrawing his arms. Buck stared harshly at Eddie before his eyes traveled to Hen, Chim, and finally settling on Bobby.

" All you had to do was talk to me Cap, all you had to do was explain to me that you wanted me on light duty to keep me safe and give my body a chance to heal completely. Instead you went behind my back and then you blindside me after Athena invites me to dinner." Buck said coldly before he turned to give Athena an apologetic look.

" I'm sorry I ruined dinner that night and walked out like I did Athena, I just felt so humiliated." Buck said quietly.

" Boy don't you even start with me about that." Athena said firmly before she turned unimpressed eyes to her husband.

" I told you from the get go to just be honest with Buck here, but did you listen? No you just had to be all-knowing Captain Nash. The only reason you even revealed that it was you who was keeping Buck sidelined was because Buck here still looked to you to help him get his job back, to tell the higher-ups that he was ready. Well take a good hard look at how all of that turned out." Athena said flatly.

" Evan... Athena I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I just wanted to keep you safe-" A pale Bobby began to say as he looked between his wife and the young man who was like a son to him whether he wanted to admit it or not when at that exact moment the loud and jarring sound of the call bell sounded.

In an instant everyone was on duty.

" Johnson, Ricciutti, Coleman. All three of you are benched until further notice and I want all of you in my office. Simmons!" Bobby barked as he turned hard eyes to the three and looked to Simmons, a tall dark haired and square-jawed firefight who worked with the three offenders.

" Yes Captain Nash?" He asked firmly.

" Make sure those three stay put in my office." Bobby barked.

" Yes sir." Simmons said before he turned and gave Johnson, Ricciutti, and Coleman a single, scathing look that had the three of them slinking off to Bobby's office without protest.

Eddie, Hen, and Chim wanted to glare at the three firefighters who had hurt Buck but wouldn't that be fucking hypocritical of them?

Bobby turned to see Hen, Chim, and Eddie all surrounding Buck, who had his eyes averted and wasn't acknowledging them.

" Buck?" Bobby asked hopefully.

Buck looked up and for the barest moment there was a spark of hope in those pain-filled blue eyes. The spark was curbed quickly though as before Buck could make a move Athena was there wrapping her hand around Buck's wrist firmly and sending him one of her patented mom looks.

" Like I said before, as far as I am concerned your shift is over for the day Buckaroo. You are gonna go get changed and then I am taking you home where May and Harry are gonna make sure you rest and get some actual food in you." Athena declared before she turned to her husband.

" I take it that won't be a problem, will it Captain?" She asked with her tone just daring Bobby or anyone else to say otherwise.

" No problem at all Sergeant." Bobby said, still sending Athena a loving look despite knowing how deeply he had landed himself in the doghouse.

Athena herself allowed some of the hardness to leave her eyes for a moment before she gave Bobby a curt nod. She then noticed that Hen, Chim, and Eddie were still standing around Buck.

" What the hell are you three standing around for?" Athena asked sharply.

The three in question all jolted but still looked reluctant to leave. Sniffling, Hen stepped forward and reached out to Buck wordlessly, telegraphing her movement. When Buck looked at her questioningly but didn't move away, she reached up and gently cupped his cheek. Hen found that she couldn't say anything as she sent Buck a devastated look.

Buck sighed deeply and leaned into Hen's hand, nodding before he turned his head and pressed a small kiss to her palm and drew away. Hen's breath hitched and she looked ready to lose it again, but instead she kept her composure and with one last, lingering look she ran off and disappeared down the stairs.

Chim reached out and gave Buck's shoulder a quick squeeze, shame and heartache in his dark eyes before he and Buck shared a nod and he too all but fled.

This just left Eddie. The Army vet gazed at Buck with an almost pleading look on his face. Buck stared back at him with his face unreadable, but reservoirs of pain in his deep blue eyes. Today had been full of revelations and it hadn't even been an hour since Athena had showed up here expecting to enjoy a quiet, normal lunch. It was Eddie who finally looked away first, bowing his head in defeat and stepped away. He only got a few steps before Buck's voice sounded.

" Eddie." He called, making said man look sharply over his shoulder.

" Please be safe." Buck said softly with a pained look on his face.

Eddie had to purse his lips together to keep them from trembling as his eyes felt the tell-tale burn. Eddie nodded mutely and with one last, lingering look he went scrambling down the stairs to gear up as fast as he could. Bobby stood at the top of the stairs, gazing at Athena and Buck with a myriad of emotions across his face before he spoke a few simple words.

" I am so sorry kid." Bobby said, his expression crumbling for a second because he meant it with all his heart. Then Bobby was standing up straight, schooling his features and rushing down the stairs to catch up with everyone else.

At the soft, hitched breath Athena turned sharply and felt her own heart plummet as she watched Buck finally lose his composure. Turning away from Athena Buck began to sob in earnest. Feeling exhausted and wanting to curl up and cry herself, Athena grabbed Buck by the elbow and gently pulled him to her again, hugging the distressed young man tight. Buck though of resisting Athena but most of him just wanted the comfort that was being freely given, to hold and be held by someone who genuinely cared. With tears streaming down his cheeks Buck held on tight to Athena and buried his face into the shoulder of her uniform.

Down below, the last thing Bobby, Hen, Chim, and Eddie all saw before they climbed onto the fire engine was the sight of a sobbing Buck and Athena holding him tight where they stood on the upper level. With heavy hearts the incomplete 118 team climbed into the fire truck and with sirens wailing they headed off to the emergency that required their services.

The firetruck was almost morbidly quiet, none of its occupants daring to make a sound. Bobby sat numb in the front, while Eddie holed himself up in the corner furthest from anyone, stone faced and unhappy. Hen wiped stubbornly at the tears that kept flowing where she sat by the window, Chim sitting across from her looking like he wanted to join her.

They were headed to a massive multiple car pile-up and everything felt wrong, especially the empty space were Buck was supposed to be sitting next to Eddie. As the firetruck's horn sounded to warn motorists and pedestrians alike to clear out of its way, the members of the 11 couldn't help but think of the even bigger mess they would have to deal with once they got this call squared away.

The rest of the day and how things would go were all up in the air, but Bobby, Hen, Chim, and Eddie could all agree that it was not going to be pretty.

Athena made good on her word and sent Buck to get changed and once he was back in civilian clothes, which further showcased of skinny and pale he had gotten over these last few weeks, the seasoned police sergeant hurried him into her cruiser and peeled away from the firehouse with all speed. When they got to the Grant-Nash residence, Athena and Buck were greeted by May, Harry, and Michael. Athena's ex-husband took one look at Buck and rushed him inside, taking his back and all but ordering him to take a seat at the dining table with May and Harry happily joining him.

" Hope you're in the mood for Dad's world famous chili!" Harry said with glee.

" Sounds fantastic, thanks Harry." Buck said with a genuine smile the young boy's way even though he felt completely drained physically and emotionally.

" Yup, even Bobby says his chili doesn't hold a candle." May said as she sent a proud smile Michael's way, the older man chuckling as he and Athena stood in the foyer.

" Athena what's going on? It's the middle of the day and Buck should still be on shift." Michael asked in concern.

Athena let out a profound sigh and shook her head.

" Honestly Michael, it is too long and horrendous a story for me to tell you right here and now. Just know that a whole bunch of people at that firehouse screwed up bad, my dear husband Bobby most of all, and it is Buck who suffered. Our Buck needs a break and some TLC and that is all that matters. You are gonna get a better explanation once everyone's shifts are over and I suspect we are gonna have an impromptu gathering here. Right now though I only have a few minutes left on my lunch break so lets eat!" Athena said with a tired smile.

Athena and Michael headed down the stares, smiling as the watched May and Harry pepper Buck with questions and got him to smile wide and even laugh, especially when Harry recounted how a few days ago he and his dad had gone to the park only for Michael to freak out because there had been a random dude there showing off his giant pet boa constrictor named Aretha. Snake man had been friendly and a veritable encyclopedia on all things snake. He had eased Michael's fears enough to where the architect had been brave enough to actually pet the deadly animal.

" Surprisingly enough the thing actually felt like a living breathing, expensive leather purse." Michael said with a chuckle as he ladled fresh chili into several bowls for everyone, being sure to pile a little extra into the bowl meant for Buck.

" Hey Michael let me-" Buck said as he began to rise from he seat at the table but he sank back down instantly with one look from Athena who sat at the head of the table.

" No worries Dad, I'll help." May said with a smile Buck's way before she went into the kitchen area to help her father.

" You really didn't have to do this Athena, and I don't just mean lunch." Buck said quietly as he sent Athena a shy, grateful look.

" Well if there's one thing you know about me, I was not gonna stand for that kind of Bullsh... crap." Athena said with the last minutes save since Harry was sitting right next to Buck.

Once Michael and May came out with the chili and fixings Athena and Michael both smiled as they watched Buck gamely allow May and Harry to pile on an assortment of toppings onto his chili, thankfully none of the items falling on the list of things he still wasn't allowed to eat because of the blood thinners.

" This is fantastic Michael, thanks so much." Buck complemented after a few delicious bites.

" Don't mention it Buck, and there is plenty more where that came from." Michael with a smile and a subtle look of concern at Buck because the boy looked like he was ready to keel over at any second.

May sent her mother a questioning look but Athena shook her head. Now was the time for Buck to just relax and eat, she had the feeling Armageddon would come soon enough, especially when one Maddie Buckley found out what was really going on between her little brother and the firehouse.

All too soon Athena needed to head back out on her shift.

" What gonna happen now Athena?" Buck asked as he stood at the door with Athena and Michael.

" Well you can hang out with the trio of awesome or take full advantage of the guest room down the hall, cause lord knows it would be a big understatement when I say you look like you could use a nap." Athena said with her signature sass, Buck ducking his head shying and smiling warmly. He looked up when Athena reached out and gently cupped the side of his neck.

" What you aren't gonna do is worry. Everyone is probably going to show up here after work, Maddie's gonna be here and she's gonna find out everything that's been going on, and the very serious issue you've been foolishly dealing with on your own, but it's gonna be okay, you hear me Buckaroo?" Athena asked sternly.

" Yes ma'am." Buck said with a light, warm chuckle so very much better than the broken acquiescence in the locker room earlier, when Athena had gotten to the bottom of just how very wrong everything was going.

" I'll see you tonight then." Athena said with a reassuring pat to the side of Buck's neck. She then turned and shared a quick peck on the cheek with Michael and said goodbye to Harry and May before she headed out the door to her patrol car.

Before Michael could say anything to Buck, Harry was bounding up the stairs and taking hold of one of Buck's wrists.

" C'mon Buck, let's play some Madden!" He said as he beamed up at Buck and started pulling him down the stairs.

Buck sent Michael an apologetic smile which turned into an almost full grin as he looked down at Harry and nodded.

" Sure thing Buddy." Buck said as he let Harry pull him away.

Michael followed after them, sharing a knowing look with May. Something had happened today, something huge, and Michael felt a pit of anxiety well up inside him as to what exactly all of it was.

Buck indulged Harry in a few games and chatted with May about the latest movies that had come out, but when the weariness he had been holding at bay for months now had become too much to ignore, he took Athena's advice and disappeared into the guest room to rest. If Michael had happened to walk past and saw Buck laying curled up in the bed with his back to the door and silent sobs wracking his tall but greatly thinned frame, the older man didn't comment on it. He simply shut the door halfway and asked May and Harry to keep things down so as not to disturb Buck.

The hours passed by with agonizing slowness for some and far too rapidly for others.

A pair of clear blue eyes with a distinct birthmark over the left one slowly fluttered open as sleep slowly left them. Buck blinked and stared up at the unfamiliar ceiling. As his faculties returned to him, Buck's mind bombarded him with the memories of what had transpired today. He was about to sit up when there was suddenly a small, tiny hand on one of his cheeks. Buck lay frozen for a few moments, not daring to believe what was happening. Then letting out a shaky breath, Buck slowly turned his head to see who it was.

" H-Hi Bucky." Christopher said softly, smiling one of his megawatt smiles but also with his eyes already brimming with tears.

Buck blinked owlishly at Chris, his entire face taking on a look of utter shock. Then with an inarticulate cry Buck lunged forward but gently wrapped his arms around the boy in a tight hug.

" Christopher? Christopher hi! Oh my God hi Buddy!" Buck yelled out without shame, his entire body seeming to come alive with happiness as he finally held Christopher in his arms for the first time in a long time.

A warm and familiar hand stroking the top of his head had Buck looking to see Maddie sitting in the chair beside the bed. Her eyes were warm but tearful. The siblings didn't need to say a single word, only smile shakily at each other.

" I missed you so much Bucky." Christopher said softly, breath hitching and the tears finally falling as he squeezed Buck with all the might in his little body.

Maddie let out this watery little laugh as she watched her little brother and the boy he loved so much.

" Oh Buddy I missed you too, I missed you every day." Buck all but sobbed as his breath hitched and tears spilled down his own cheeks.

" Was I bad? Is that why you don't come see me and Daddy anymore?" Chris asked softly through his tears.

" No Chris, never! You are the best buddy, you did nothing wrong, nothing at all!" Buck said vehemently all while feeling the bottom drop out of his stomach at Chris' softly spoke questions.

" Buck is right Chris, you didn't do anything wrong. Just some grown up stuff was going on." Maddie assured as she soothingly rubbed Chris' back and Buck's arm.

A choked off sound by the door had Buck looking up in time to see Eddie looking completely devastated. Part of Buck wanted to go to Eddie, or asked Eddie to come into the room and hold both him and Chris but most of Buck was still hurt by how Eddie had treated him, he was mad as Hell to be honest. Buck averted his gaze and focused instead on comforting the precious little boy in his arms, reassuring Chris over and over again that none of what had happened was his fault.

As he ran his hand through Chris' soft curly hair, Buck could hear the many other voices down the hall, no doubt the voices and shuffling of everyone else that had gathered. All at once Buck felt his anxiety return to him tenfold, the temporary reprieve being reunited with Chris had given him already at an end.

" Hey Buddy, no more sad face. We gotta go see everyone else right?" Buck said when he finally pulled back from Chris a little.

The boy nodded adorably and let out this final little sniffle as Buck gently took Chris' face into his significantly larger hands, using his thumbs to wipe away the trails of salt that linger over his smooth cheeks. Chris of course reached out and used his warm little hands to wipe the tears from Buck's face, making Buck genuinely smile. From where he stood Eddie felt fresh pain lance through him at the sight of the man whom he had declared his love for and his beloved son.

The tears they were wiping away were his fault, because of his callous and stupid decision to keep the two holders of his heart separated out of nothing but misplaced anger and spite.

Eddie turned his attention back to Buck and Chris as the blond haired man rose from the bed with Chris held securely in his arms, Maddie rising from her seat as well. Dressed in jeans and a thin gray Henley shirt, Eddie could see for himself how painfully thin Buck had gotten. His best friend, the man he claimed to love, had been wasting away and he had been to willfully ignorant to see.

Eddie parted his lips, wanting to say so many things to Buck, to beg, to plead, to apologize, but he couldn't make a single sound. Maddie stepped over the threshold past him first and Buck resolutely kept his gaze straight ahead, he wouldn't look at Eddie even as he passed him. But once he and Chris were over the threshold and out in the hallway, Buck carefully shifted Chris to his hip and held onto him with one arm, while his other hand reached out and took hold of Eddie's wrist.

" Come on Eddie." Buck said simply with a sigh of resignation as he pulled Eddie along, the older man looking like he was going to lose it all over again.

The four of them headed up the hallway towards the living room of the Grant-Nash house, where everyone else was gathered. The moment they were at the mouth of the hallway they were greeted by Athena, now dressed casually for home and out of her uniform.

" Hey Chris, you happy to finally have your Buck back?" Athena asked with a smile.

" Y-Yeah." Chris replied quietly before he promptly buried his face into Buck's neck and hugged him tight.

Buck was stunned and felt his eyes burn but he quickly pushed all that away as he let go of Eddie's wrist and wrapped his arm around Chris, rubbing his back as he spoke.

" It's okay Buddy, don't be embarrassed, I cried all the time when I couldn't come see you. It's okay, you got me back sweetheart." Buck assured.

Behind Buck, Eddie looked completely wrecked.

" Oh Christopher I am sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry." Athena said as she reached out and ran her hand over Chris' shoulder.

With a sniffle Chris let go of Buck and turned to Athena, shaking his head.

" It's okay Aunt Athena... I'm not crying cause I'm sad... I-I am happy I have Bucky back." Chris said haltingly as he wiped at his little face.

From where he in one of the plush chairs, Bobby had to swallow past the lump that formed in his throat. Hen hugged Denny to her and watched on with a pained smile while Karen still looked at her in silent askance because she had no idea what was going on and Michael was the same where he sat next to Chim. Chim just hung his head looking like he wanted to sink into the ground.

" Well I am glad to hear that little man." Athena said as she held up her hand for Chris to give her a hi-five, which he did with gusto before Athena continued.

" Listen Chris, Buck's gonna be right here in the living room but I have May and Harry setting up some games outside so you and Denny can join them. Us grown ups just have to talk about some really important things. Would that be okay?" She asked gently.

Chris looked like he wanted to protest, that he wanted to stay with his Buck but after a good many reassurances from Buck and Eddie that Buck wasn't going anywhere, the child agreed. Together with Denny the pair shuffled out into the backyard. Once the kids were out of earshot Athena sent Eddie a hard look that had the younger man reluctantly leaving Buck's side and taking a seat in the couch beside the one Bobby was in.

" C'mon Buck, let's get you settled. Maddie." Athena beckoned as she directed the Buckley siblings to take a seat on the biggest and comfiest.

An awkward silence fell over everyone once Buck was seated with Athena and Maddie flanking him. It was Karen who finally broke the impasse.

" Guys, what is going on here? Why does Buck look like he's on his way to being a zombie and the rest of you look guilty as hell?" She asked with a feeling of uneasiness settling over her and Maddie.

Athena shared a look with Buck who looked so tired and resigned it refueled some of the anger she had felt hours ago at the firehouse. With a sigh, Athena turned hard eyes to her already chastised looking husband and spoke.

" So Captain, would you care to explain or should I?" She asked simply.

From where he sat Bobby took a deep breath and looked to Buck and Maddie, feeling resignation of his own for the inevitable.

Athena sat back and waited for what was surely going to be Armageddon going off.

Outside on the patio May, Harry, Chris, and Denny were all gathered at the patio table having a blast as they played Uno. They were about ten minutes into the game and Chris had just put down a green number 2 card when May looked up in time to see Maddie shoot from her seat on the couch and go absolutely ballistic at Bobby. Whatever Maddie was saying was muffled by the glass but from the way her stepfather had his head bowed and looked completely defeated, May was sure that something truly awful must have happened to get Maddie of all people that mad, and on top of that she could see that her mom was quietly pissed off too, her dad sat in disbelief, Karen was gawking at Hen like she couldn't believe what she was hearing, and Buck just looked so sad where he sat, totally refusing to look at Eddie.

Knowing that it would probably be more trouble that it was worth to keep looking, May focused her attention back on the game. Hopefully their parents would tell them what was going on later.

_Meanwhile, back inside the Grant-Nash household.._.

Maddie sat back down beside her brother and cupped his pale cheek, her own eyes shining as she spoke.

" Why didn't you tell me this was happening? You know you can always come to me with anything, just like I can always come to you. You _know_ that." Maddie said gently.

" I know that Maddie. I just didn't think it would get that bad and I screwed up first with that stupid lawsuit and-" Buck began to say when Bobby cut him off.

" No Kid, while that lawsuit wasn't the smartest thing, you only filed it because I didn't respect you enough to be straight with you from the start. If we had talked about this and you got to know my reasons why I wanted to just ease you back into full duty, I know you would have understood. Instead I just went right past you and sidelined you because I thought I was keeping you safe." Bobby said quietly.

" Buck I still get nightmares about you under that truck." He admitted softly with his face crumbling for a moment.

" But you kept sidelining me, and not including me in anything even after I did everything you asked. Ever single time I'd take a seat upstairs at the table everyone would just look at me and everything would get so uncomfortable I couldn't stay. Why didn't you say anything then?" Buck asked as he sent a hurt-filled look Bobby's way.

" One word, just one word from you and that would have set us all on the way to fixing things and that's all I wanted Cap." Buck added.

" Someone in your house actually threw a fucking urinal cake at my brother Captain Nash, hard enough to actually bruise him and you had no goddamn clue about it until Athena said it to your face. None of you did." Maddie seethed as she glared at her brother's captain, then at Hen, Chim, and finally settling on Eddie who tried not to squirm under those furious dark eyes.

When Buck jerked and looked fearfully at Maddie, her focus zeroed in on him.

Athena reached up and wrapped her arm around Buck, the younger man subconsciously leaning into her as the police sergeant spoke.

" Maddie, there is something else you need to know about the bruise Buck got from the urinal cake hitting him, something very serious." Athena said ominously.

" What is it Evan, please tell me." Maddie asked as cold fear started to creep into her heart.

Taking a deep breath, Buck parted his lips and spoke.

" That bruise, it wouldn't go away so I went to the doctor to get it checked out. He looked at it and then thought it best if I go see a specialist." Buck said quietly.

Maddie sat silent, looking up when there was a hand on her shoulder and seeing a grim looking Chim standing beside her. Even though she was still beyond pissed at him, Maddie sent her boyfriend a grateful look before she turned back to Buck, seeing Bobby come to stand beside Athena as Buck spoke.

" An oncologist." Buck said as his eyes filled and his breath hitched.

" I had to go get tested for leukemia, and I still won't know for sure for another week." He explained, finally revealing his secret to his big sister.

From where they sat across from Buck, Michael's jaw dropped and Karen brought an hand to her mouth, a look of pure horror on both of their faces. Karen turned to He who could only nod grimly.

Maddie sat frozen for the longest time, the words seeming not to compute. Then taking a deep breath, Maddie spoke.

" No Buck. I won't accept that. You are on blood thinners, take it from me that means your bruises are going to linger a lot longer. Even though you look like crap right now you don't have any of the symptoms, and I know you, you memorized every single one the moment after you gave your blood for the test." Maddie said, smiling wanly despite herself when Buck ducked his head and nodded his confirmation.

" On top of that, Coleman used to be a minor league pitcher before he joined the LAFD, so his throws still have more power than usual to them." Bobby said as a means of assurance.

At Buck's look of askance, Bobby spoke up.

" After we got back from the call, I had Johnson, Ricciutti, and Coleman in my office. Before I could even get a word in all three of them offered to resign as members of the LAFD. I still ripped them all new ones. Johnson and Ricciutti will be transferred to different firehouses and will each have a permanent reprimand on their records for their behavior towards you. Coleman on the other hand took the resignation. He said he won't even take his pension because of how he behaved with you. He said that he conducted himself most unbecoming and didn't deserve any of the benefits even with the twenty years he had on the job. He just wanted you to know that he's never gonna forgive himself for what he did to you, just like I won't ever forgive myself for allowing these three to think it was all every okay in the first place." The Captain said stoically, though his eyes filled with ever lasting pain.

Buck looked absolutely horrified by this revelation.

" No Bobby, that's not-" Buck began to protest, when Bobby just shook his head.

" No Evan, it is a done deal. This won't magically fix everything we messed up so badly, but it's a start by showing that I will not tolerate that kind of behavior in my house every again." Bobby said, meaning it with every word.

" But Bobby, the rest of the house is gonna hate me even more, I cost three firefighters their jobs, including a twenty-year veteran. They were already on me because of the lawsuit." Buck explained.

" I doubt it, you saw the look of Simmons' face when I asked him to make sure those three stayed in my office. You have more people on your side than you know Buck and besides, I give you my word, if anyone else does have a problem with you about any of this, I will set them straight or they can find another firehouse or another line of work entirely." Bobby declared, looking dead serious.

Buck deflated and nodded, looking tired, so very tired. With a sigh Buck looked around seeing everyone gathered around him, Hen, Karen, and Michael having stood up and completed the circle around him.

" What happens now?" Buck asked quietly.

" We fix things." Hen said immediately, stepping forward and leaning down to hug Buck, who readily.

It made something in Buck both swell and bleed since he had not idea where to even begin.

" We try to redeem ourselves in your eyes, especially me and Hen, because we know what it's like to be made outcasts, and we ended up doing that to you Buck. Man I am so sorry." Chim said as he stepped forward and leaned down to hug Buck too.

When Chim drew away, getting a nod of acceptance from Maddie even though she was still plenty angry with him Bobby came forward.

" We both made mistakes, we are gonna learn from them and be better. I promise you Buck, you can come to me about anything, _anything_." Bobby assured, reaching out his hand because he wasn't sure how receptive Buck would be to him.

Buck immediately reached up and took the offered hand, but then with a crooked little smile Buck rose to his feet and he and Bobby came together in a proper, full hug. Bobby squeezed Buck tightly, his own breath hitching as once again it hit him how badly he had screwed up with the poor kid. Buck held onto Bobby just as tightly. There wasn't this overwhelming sense of peace, the hurt was too raw, too close to the surface, but it did fill him with hope that things would get better.

" I failed you Buck, I failed you again and I am so sorry." Bobby said quietly, emotion clogging his throat.

" I am sorry too Bobby, for the lawsuit, and for being so much trouble." Buck said quietly.

" No, no you're not trouble and you dropped the lawsuit, you weren't out to hurt anyone, you just wanted to get back to the job you love, the people you love even more and I was the one who kept holding you back." Bobby countered, rubbing at Buck's shoulder as his eyes met Athena's.

Athena just sighed and nodded back at Bobby. They would have plenty to discuss later, for now their focus would be on Buck.

When Buck and Bobby drew away from each other, the final member of the team came forward.

Eddie and Buck regarded each other silently. There was so much Eddie wanted to say to Buck, so much he wanted to scream for the world to know. There was so much Buck wanted to say back to Eddie.

The chief being that he loved him too, he loved Eddie with all his heart.

Buck didn't say this though, his eyes shuttering as he gazed at Eddie. Eddie could see this, and he knew he deserved it. Taking a deep breath Eddie parted his lips to finally speak when at that exact moment Harry and Denny came running back into the house.

" Buck! Buck! Buck!" Harry and Denny both said as they ran up to Buck and bounced on their feet in front of him.

" Hey you guys!" Buck said, turning away from Eddie and giving his full attention to the children who so enthusiastically wanted his attention.

" Come play Uno with us Buck!" Denny said as he took hold of one of Buck's wrists, while Harry took hold of the other.

" May keeps winning, we gotta beat her." Harry declared as he and Denny started pulling Buck with them.

Buck was stunned for only a moment before his face broke out into a wide grin. With a full chuckle Buck let the two boys pull him past everyone else towards the patio door. As he went, Buck looked over his shoulder to see Eddie staring at him with a myriad of emotions, the chief of which were guilt and longing. Buck felt his heart stutter as he remembered everything that had transpired between them today, from how desperately Eddie had held him, to everything he had said, especially what he had whispered in his ear just for him to know.

With a lingering look, Buck turned away and headed out onto the patio where he hurried over to the table where May was shuffling the Uno deck for the next round and Chris grinned big and wide as he caught sight of Buck. Back inside the house, everyone else watched on with warm eyes at the sight of Buck giving Chris another big bear hug before he pulled up a chair and sat down, waiting for Denny to deal out the Uno cards. From where he stood still feeling horrendous, Eddie found himself feeling a surge of love at the sight of the two people who meant most to him reunited. But as he stood there, Eddie could feel eyes on him.

When he turned his gaze away from the patio, Eddie's dark eyes found those of Maddie Buckley staring right back at him.

It was quite clear from the look on her face, she wanted to talk to him specifically.

Eddie couldn't help but feel his throat suddenly dry up at the prospect of facing Maddie Buckley by himself.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not now, nor have I ever owned the rights to 911 or its characters. It all belongs to Fox TV and the show's creators like Brad Falchuk and whoever else.

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Chapter 3

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The door to the house opened with a soft click before the metal slid away as Eddie pushed it and then stepped around it to hold the door open. In his hands he held two duffle bags, one his own the other belonging to his and Christopher's unexpected guest.

Without saying a word, Evan Buckley stepped over the threshold into the Diaz house, tenderly holding a sleepy Christopher Diaz in his arms. Buck's pale blue eyes found Eddie's dark coffee ones and both men froze for a moment. They simply stared at each other, barely an arm's length separating them physically, but emotionally it may as well have been the opposite sides of the Grand Canyon. Buck was the first to look away, his jaw clenched lightly in an effort not to start bawling as he walked further into the house. Eddie bowed his head for a moment, needing a second to reign in his own emotions before he followed after Buck and Chris. He came to stand behind Buck and smiled at his sleeping son.

" You ready to keel over for the day little man?" He asked with genuine warmth.

" I'm not tired." Chris said softly where his head rested on one of Buck's broad shoulders, letting out a profound yawn that totally contradicted his words. The sheer adorableness of the sight earned Chris a genuine little huff of laughter from Buck who leaned in and kissed the top of Chris' head. Chris raised his head and gave his Buck his best sleepy megawatt grin.

_" God I love you both so much."_ Eddie thought to himself as he gazed at the sight of Buck and Chris together, longing and self-loathing coursing through him equally in painful waves.

He still had Maddie's painfully angry words ringing through his head when she cornered him and asked him to come outside to the front of Bobby and Athena's house earlier in the night. Buck's older sister had gone ballistic when he had shamefully revealed that had barred Buck from seeing Chris and barely allowed any contact for the last two months, because he had been mad, and because he thought he was doing right by Christopher.

_" How could you be that cruel Eddie? You know how much Buck loves Chris. My brother went to hell and back for that kid during the tsunami and it almost killed him!"_ _Maddie all but screamed with her voice breaking. _

_Eddie stood before Maddie with his head bowed in deep shame. He shook his head and spoke. _

_" I was so mad. I never meant for it to get this bad, I just... with the lawsuit... he just cut off all contact and didn't think about how bad Chris would take it. I thought he was being selfish, wanting to put himself at risk while he was on blood thinners and making Cap out to be the bad guy. Then when he told that slime-ball lawyer our personal information I just got even more angry because that asshole brought up Shannon. I know now that Buck didn't think that guy was gonna use any of the information he told him, but he did and it just made everything worse and then I just stayed mad. I just... I wanted to protect Christopher because it felt like Shannon all over again because that is what she did, just dropped away in the blink of an eye with a piss-poor goodbye and then nothing." Eddie said with his own voice breaking. _

_" He was just trying to get his job back Eddie, he was trying to get back to all of you, not leave you like she did. None of this would have happened if Bobby had just taken him aside and talked to him, explained his reasons instead of blind-siding him. Do you have any idea of just how alone my brother has felt after the truck crushed him, after the tsunami, after being kept from duty? And now I find out he's been bullied and physically assaulted on top of that and that this has been going on for MONTHS! You were right there Eddie, Howard and Henrietta were there too, any one of you could have stopped all of it but you just held onto your anger like a bunch of children, and you were the cruelest one of all, his best friend!" Maddie seethed in anger and disgust. _

_" I know, and I am sorry Maddie. I'll make it up to him I swear to you, I will." Eddie said fervently._

_" You better Eddie Diaz, or you'll get a taste of your own cruelty thrown back at you a thousand fold because I will ask Buck to transfer to a house with actual human beings in it and I will personally make sure none of you get to see so much as his shadow. I have my brother's back always, remember that." Maddie said in warning before with a final angry glare at Eddie she marched back into Athena and Bobby's house, she still had to confront Chimney about his own failings._

Eddie was effectively shaken from his melancholic recollection when he felt a pair of eyes on him. He looked up to see Buck frowning lightly at him in question and Chris blinking sleepily.

" Sorry guys, it's been a really long day. Let's get you ready for bed little man." Eddie said as he reached out with his free hand to playfully squeeze give his son's cute little nose a squeeze, earning a happy open mouth laugh from Chris and a genuine but tired smile from Buck.

" Why don't you take Christopher to his room and help him pick out some PJ's from his collection while I put your stuff in the guest room?" Eddie asked Buck tentatively.

" Ok." Was all Buck said quietly as he averted his gaze and all but fled down the hallway towards Chris' room.

Eddie swallowed against the lump that formed in his throat as he watched Buck and Chris go. God this was such a mess and he played a huge part in making it so. Taking a deep breath and feeling anxiety uncurl in the pit of his stomach for the millionth time this night. Eddie pulled himself together and made his way down the hallway, the guest bedroom located closest to the living room. He stepped into the room and quickly placed Buck's duffle bag on the bed before he stepped back out into the hallway and quickly made his way to Christopher's room. The sight that greeted him had Eddie's heart lurching painfully almost clear out of his chest.

Inside Chris' room, his precious little boy was wearing his favorite Superman pajamas, the one's he had picked out all by himself while he and Buck had taken him shopping, before the lawsuit, before all the mistakes and everything seemed to be on the mend. Kneeling on the floor before Chris and hugging him tight was Buck, still dressed in his jeans and Henley shirt and with is face tucked into the little boy's shoulder. They were clinging to each other and not saying a word. Eddie was about to turn and leave his boys be when Chris looked up.

" Daddy!" Chris said with another sleepy grin as he reached out with of his little hands.

Eddie was across the room in a heartbeat, wrapping his arms around both Chris and Buck. He felt Buck tense under his arm, and he was about to draw away and apologize when Buck seemed to just shudder quietly before he unwrapped one of his arms from Chris and wrapped it around Eddie's back. Eddie wanted to sob without shame as hope filled him, but instead he just buried his face into Chris' free shoulder.

They stayed like that for what seemed like hours until Chris had basically fallen fast asleep in both their arms. With plenty of hugs and kisses from both his father and his Buck, Christopher drifted off to the land of dreams. Buck stepped back as Eddie finished tucking Chris in. When Eddie was done he and Buck quietly left Chris' room, Eddie shutting the door behind him.

Eddie and Buck found themselves facing each other once more, and this time Chris was asleep and there was no one else around to interrupt. Gathering his courage and licking suddenly dry lips, Eddie broke the silence between them.

" Are you okay Buck?" He asked softly.

Buck stared at him without blinking for the longest time, it was unnerving and so not like Buck, but then he blinked and glanced at the closed door to Chris' bedroom before turning his eyes back to Eddie as he spoke.

" He made me promise to never go away like that again. He was so scared that I would just disappear he almost started crying. I promised him we'd make pancakes for breakfast in the morning. I told him that since Cap gave me the day off tomorrow we could spend all day together." Buck said with his voice wavering by the end.

Eddie looked absolutely stricken at these words.

" Buck I-" Eddie tried to say when Buck shook his head, his eyes hardening like stone as he spoke.

" The only reason I am even here in your house right now is for that little boy in there. Whatever excuses you have or apologies you want to make to me, you keep them because right now I don't want to hear any of it." Buck said with finality.

Then without waiting to hear another word from Eddie, Buck stepped past him and made his way up the hall, ducking into the guest bedroom and shutting the door, the sound driving it home for Eddie that for tonight, there would be no more talking. Eddie could blame no one but himself. It was a miracle that Buck had even agreed to come stay with him and Chris when Eddie had tentatively asked him to once they had finished eating the dinner Bobby and Athena had cobbled together for everyone earlier that night.

Maddie had looked like she had wanted to vehemently protest, glaring daggers at him. Buck himself had looked at him with hard eyes, but when Chris had asked his Buck to please come home with them, Buck had relented.

Chris brought Buck home, not him.

Hanging his head in utter defeat Eddie dragged himself down the hallway toward his own bedroom.

Eddie shed his clothes, leaving them on a pile on a nearby chair. He pulled on a pair of sleep pants and then all but collapsed on his bed. He might have been both physically and emotionally drained but sleep didn't come. Instead Eddie lay on his back, staring blankly at the ceiling as the memories of every callous word and thoughtless action he committed against Buck over the last two months came to the forefront of his mind and tormented him without mercy. Mixing into this were the memories of the wonderful times they had together, Buck's brilliant smile and his laugh, the moments spent together with each other and with Chris that led to Eddie falling irrevocably in love with the blue eyed man.

As he lay there with tears leaking out the corner of his eyes, Eddie prayed with all his soul just for a chance, just one chance to make amends with the wonderful man he had declared his love for but hurt so cruelly. He also prayed that Buck would not face a possible death sentence when his blood test came back in a week's time.

It took Eddie over an hour to finally fall into a restless sleep.

Come morning, Buck would be there and he and Chris would be making the pancakes just like he promised. Eddie would have breakfast with them but feel like the outsider looking in. He would go to work with a hug from Chris, a mute nod from Buck who wouldn't really look at him, and a knowing but assuring look from Carla.

A work he was bombarded on all sides with questions about how Buck was doing, both from Bobby, Hen, and Chim, and from the other firefighters at the station. Contrary to what Buck had thought, after yesterday's profound debacle, there were many at the station who wanted to make amends to Buck for how they had treated him. Eddie highly doubted Buck would be positively receptive to them in any way, he had seen for himself that Buck was still furious. Eddie had convinced everyone that it would be best that when Buck did come back to work, that everyone not make grand gestures like a welcome back party or what have and go about apologizing quietly first, earn back what had been lost first and then see what could happen.

Bobby looked sad and worn but he had agreed in understanding. Athena was still very angry. Hen and Chim were in the same boat, Karen very disappointed that after everything Hen herself had gone through when she had first joined the house, she had been willfully ignorant to it happening not only to another fire fighter, but to Buck of all people, Buck. Maddie of course was ignoring Chim at the moment and she was well within her right to as Buck's sister. She had told Chim in no uncertain terms to not call her till he had made his own amends with Buck.

A pall had fallen over Station 118 and they had no one but themselves to blame for it.

_A couple of nights later with the hour having grown substantially late..._

Eddie finished tying the laces on his sneaker before he stood up from the side of his bed. He picked up the hoodie that was laying on the bed. He donned it and zipped it up with a sigh. After his day off spent completely and totally devoted to Christopher, Buck had come back to work with an uncharacteristic glower to his face that made it clear to everyone that they shouldn't get too close. When Cap called him over to have breakfast with everyone Buck's face hadn't lit up and his eyes stayed cold. He sat and ate mechanically, without his usual gusto. Hen and Chim did their best to engage him in conversation but it was stilted and now they were getting a taste of how Buck must have felt when he tried to talk to them these last two months.

On top of that, everyone had Buck's pending blood test results on their minds. They dared not to breach the subject with Buck though, not wanting that powder keg to go off.

The only time some of the alien frigidness would leave Buck was whenever anyone brought up Chris, Denny, Harry, or May. Warmth would come back to Buck's eyes and he would almost be his normal exuberant self. But all too soon, Buck would shut down and draw back from them.

When a call came and Bobby told Buck to gear up, everyone at the station was disheartened when Buck's face again didn't light up with joy. He just gave Cap a curt nod and ran to gear up. On the call Buck was exemplary and helped save whoever was in peril, there was just forced smiles and no joy, which made it that much awful.

They just wanted their exuberant puppy of a man back, wanted to know that they hadn't chased him away.

While Buck would actually exchange words with Bobby, Hen, and Chim, Eddie would get absolutely nothing.

It made Eddie understand how horrendous Buck must have felt when Eddie had treated him the way he had, karma coming back to Eddie tenfold for the callous way he had hurt his best friend. It made him feel despair to the depths of his heart, much like he had felt when he couldn't talk to Buck, when Shannon had left the first time, when she had come back into his life and then pulled the rug out from under him when she had asked for a divorce. Then she had died and Eddie was alone again, hollowed out and hurt. Everything happening with Buck had just hollowed him out further, allowing the rage he had in him to take hold.

It was why he was heading out into the night to punch and kick away his feelings. With everything going on he had had plenty to distract him from the late night habit. Tonight though, with Buck basically ignoring him all throughout the day at work and pretty much doing the same when they came home to Christopher, the urge to sink into the mindless red haze that the fighting could provide had become too alluring to ignore.

The hour was substantially late, Chris and Buck had both gone to bed. He could catch a couple of fights and be back before either of them noticed. Chris would be safe with Buck.

Eddie picked up the duffle bag he would be taking with him and quietly made his way out of his bedroom. Not wanting to risk waking either Chris or Buck, Eddie headed straight for the front door. He had just reached up to undo one of the locks when an unexpected voice rose up from behind him and made him freeze dead in his tracks.

" I was wondering when you would go back to your little late night habit."

Eddie lowered his hand and slowly turned around to see a solitary figure shrouded in darkness, sitting on the sofa with only the light from the windows dimly lighting him from behind. The figure leaned forward, the light from the windows finally illuminating a dangerously blank faced Evan Buckley.

Eddie stared at Buck and Buck stared back at Eddie for what seemed a really long time but in reality were just a few seconds. It was Buck who spoke.

" Go change and then come back out here Edmundo." He ordered, his tone leaving no room for argument in a way Eddie had never, ever heard Buck sound in all the time he had known the other man.

It took everything Eddie had not to flinch at Buck using his full, given name. Part of him wanted to be defiant, to just walk out that door and go fight like he had planned. But he knew full well that if he did that he'd lose Buck for good. Gritting his teeth, Eddie obeyed, feeling Buck's pale eyes boring holes into him the whole time as he walked by and headed back down the hallway to his bedroom. He wanted to chuck his duffel bag against the wall but thought of Christopher sleeping just feet away. He tossed the bag by the door and then went about shedding his clothes. He changed into a baggy black t-shirt and gray sweats and then with a deep breath he headed back out to the living room.

Buck hadn't moved from where he sat, dressed in a simple white t-shirt and grey sweats himself. Without saying a word Eddie made his way around the sofa and sat down on the other end. It was perfect metaphor for the state of their relationship, Buck on one side and Eddie all the way on the other side, a seemingly insurmountable chasm between them.

It was Eddie who finally broke the oppressive silence between them.

" How did you find out about the street fighting?" Eddie asked stiffly while looking straight ahead at his living room wall.

There was a beat of silence and then Buck gave a humorless little snort.

" Well for starters your explanations for the bruises were fucking terrible and a total insult to Chris." Buck snapped, turning baleful eyes at Eddie who could still feel the burn from them without even staring directly at them. Eddie felt the bottom drop out of his stomach at Buck's words and actually felt sick for using harmless fun with Chris to hide the ugly violence he had partaken in.

" Then I called Lena. I got her number after Bobby invited me to the Rage Room. She's actually pretty okay when she doesn't have her name taped over mine at the house. She told me how she took you to one of these fights as a way to let off steam and it wasn't hard to but two and two together." Buck said lightly with a shrug.

Eddie turned his head, ready to defend himself, to tell Buck he was a grown man with choices and if he wanted to go and beat people up with his fists then he could and would do just that. The moment Eddie caught sight of Buck's face though, he froze.

Buck sat ramrod straight and there were tears silently falling down his cheeks as he too stared straight ahead. Eddie sat slack-jawed, staring at Buck with his heart plummeting to his feet. He tried to say something, anything but Buck parted his lips and filled the silence.

" It would be so much easier if I could stop loving you, just flip a switch and shut it off." Buck said quietly.

Eddie felt the breath leave his lungs in one fell swoop, Buck's softly spoken words crashing over him like a falling building. He blinked owlishly at Buck, staring at him like he had never seen him before, and maybe that was the case.

" What?" Eddie asked eloquently.

Buck finally turned and in the darkness he gave Eddie a helpless little shrug.

" Y-You love me?" Eddie asked when the ability to speak more than one words returned to him.

" With all my heart." Buck answered softly.

Not being able to stand the distance between them, Eddie slowly shuffled closely even though he wanted nothing more than to scramble across to Buck. He held himself back because this whole situation was so delicate, on the razor's edge where one wrong move could shatter every single thing for good.

Buck turned to him fully and even in the dark Eddie felt his heart lurch at the utterly broken look he could see on Buck's face. He wanted to say so many things, he wanted to take the man who just declared that he loved him back with all his heart into his arms. Part of him felt giddy, the way one is meant to feel when their most profound feelings were returned to them in kind, but most of Eddie felt terrified, wondering if he had hurt Buck too much with his callous behavior and ruined any chance they had.

" Buck I-" Eddie began to say when Buck just shook his head and he was suddenly right there in Eddie's face, the force of his glare no less profound even in the dark as he spoke.

" I am not Shannon." Buck seethed vehemently.

" I-I know that Evan." Eddie began when Buck instantly cut him off.

" Do you Edmundo?" Buck asked as he seemed to look right into Eddie's soul as he continued.

" Because with how you made me feel and how you've been treating me these last few months it is clear that you lumped me in right there with her. Yes I love you and I love Christopher and I would give my life for either of you, but I am _not_ you husband or even your boyfriend, you haven't officially made me either." Buck said through gritted teeth.

Eddie resisted the urge to shrink into the sofa because he had never seen such quiet anger from Buck and his words also hit him like a freight train. Buck didn't let Eddie speak.

" I broke off contact with you for a week and you latched onto that. I get it, you thought it was Shannon all over again. That day in the grocery store when you were so angry with me I asked you why you couldn't see my side of things and you told me that that was all I saw, well all you could see was that I abandoned you and Christopher." Buck said, pausing as his breath hitched and his angry eyes teared up again before he forced himself to speak his truth.

" All you saw was her leaving, you just switched Shannon out and put me in the same place because you got scared, when I was doing everything I thought I had to come back to my family, to come back to you Eddie." He gritted out as he wiped roughly at the salt on his cheeks and sat back looking utterly dejected.

" Buck I... I just... It hurt so much when you weren't there. Me and Christopher missed you so much and suddenly I couldn't talk to you or ask you to come over to help with Christopher when he was having nightmares. I-"

" He was having those way before the lawsuit Eddie, and you didn't call me about it once, not one goddamn time even though you know I would have dropped everything and come running to help Christopher, even though I would have understood what he was going through because I experience that whole thing with him." Buck said flatly.

Eddie hung his head, his lips twisting to the side as he felt the tell-tale burn in his eyes. With a hitched breath of his own Eddie forced himself to look back up at Buck and speak.

" I didn't want to burden you with it Buck." Eddie said quietly.

" I would gladly take that burden if it means that the little boy sleeping in that room feels safer and gets the understanding he deserves." Buck said without hesitation then with a small shake of his head Buck shifted closer to Eddie, looking him square in the eye as he spoke.

" I think I fell in love with you from the moment I first saw you at the firehouse. You just showed up and got under my skin. I acted like an ass to you but then we defused that grenade together and promised to have each other's back." Buck said with certainty before he looked away, a warm smile coming to his face as he continued.

" And then I met Christopher and I lost my heart all over again. It was a done deal with you two."

Eddie found his face crumbling at Buck's sweet words, but his heart sank as the smile rapidly vanished from Buck's face as he level hurt filled eyes at him.

" You took him away." Buck said softly, accusingly, his hand gripping the arm rest of the sofa and nearly tearing apart the fabric as he seemed to almost start writhing in agony where he sat.

" You took him away and you took yourself away. You took him away!" Buck said, his voice strangled to the point of almost not working at all.

" Oh my" Eddie breathed and he couldn't stand it any longer.

Eddie finally lunged forward and yanked Buck into his arms, into a crushing embrace. Buck tried to struggle, he did, but he was so tired and it was Eddie finally holding him after so long. Buck gritted his teeth and resisted the urge to cry at the top of his lungs because Lord only knew he wanted to. He wanted to scream till his lungs gave out, but he thought of Christopher sleeping right down the hall and instead allowed the sobs to wrack his frames silently. With a soft, broken sound Buck relaxed against Eddie and wrapped his arms around him in turn.

For several minutes they just held each other and then Buck spoke.

" I died every day I couldn't see him Eddie, I died every time you'd yell at me or look at me like I was lower than dirt, I died inside every day I couldn't be with you. Please Eddie, please be as mad as you want just don't do that do me again please! Don't take him from me again I died every time the phone call would end and now I might die for real." Buck said softly, causing Eddie to inhale sharply and tighten his already vice-like hold around him, to where he could literally feel his bones grinding together.

" No Evan, don't you dare talk like that. Just like Maddie didn't accept it, I won't either and you heard her, it's just a precaution. You do not have fucking cancer." Eddie said vehemently into Buck's hair.

" I don't wanna leave you or Chris Eddie, please please believe me I never wanted to leave you. I just wanted all of you back." Buck whispered.

" I know, I know that now and I am so sorry I doubted you. I am so sorry I hurt you this bad. God I... I am so sorry. I promise I'll never hurt you like this again. I swear, I swear. Juro por Dios. (I swear to God)" Eddie sobbed as the tears finally fell from his eyes.

There was so much more they wanted to say to each other, so much they wanted each other to know. But for now they just held onto each other, finally reunited but nowhere near fully reconciled.

A little while later Buck and Eddie, now somewhat composed were making there way towards their respective rooms when the door to Christopher's room suddenly opened and a shaky looking Chris stepped out.

" Christopher?" Eddie asked with a frown as he and Buck were immediately at the little boy's side.

" Hey Buddy, are you alright?" Buck asked as Eddie picked his son up into his arms.

" I had a bad dream again." Chris said almost apologetically as he hung he curly heat.

" It's okay Superman. It's okay, me and Buck are right here." Eddie assured as he hugged Chris to him and Buck ran a gentle hand over the boy's back.

The three of them stayed together in the hallway for several minutes before Eddie broke the silence.

" Do you want to sleep in the big bed?" Eddie asked, not surprised when Chris wordlessly nodded his head.

Buck nodded and was about to say his goodbyes when Chris and Eddie both sent him this pair of shy but hopeful looks. It didn't take long for Buck to understand what father and son both wanted.

A couple of minutes later Eddie was laying in his bed, a peaceful look on his face as he took in the sight of Chris and Buck laying fast asleep beside him. Buck had one arm tenderly wrapped around Chris while his other arm was stretched out with his hand coming to rest over the side of Eddie's neck. Eddie sighed and carefully shifted closer before he stretched out his own arm and wrapped it around Chris and Buck.

The future was still filled with so much uncertainty, and they still had to get through the rest of the week before they knew for certain whether Buck would be facing something horrific or not. For now though, Eddie Diaz finally drifted off to sleep holding his world in his arms.

Time inevitably kept going. The days passed, the city of Los Angeles went on living.

At Firehouse 118, slowly but surely the bridges that had been burned were slowly being repaired. The smile and the light, though dimmed, returned to Buck's face. After many awkward attempts, his conversations with Chim and Hen slowly started to have that easy rapport again. Bobby would make Buck some of his favorite meals and they talked tentatively. Of course Buck would go running right for Athena whenever she stopped by. The police sergeant was looked at with awe, and perhaps even a bit of fear. She's still give Bobby a hard look but she never turned away his kisses. Eddie of course was almost glued to Buck's side now, making it clear to all that Buck's best friend was back by his side.

Chim and Buck would do chores together, where Chim would get Buck to laugh with his dance moves. Maddie was still a little mad but after some poking from Buck she relented and let Chim back in.

Hen invited Buck to dinner with her, Karen, and Denny, where after they had all enjoyed some of Karen and Hen's combined wonderful cooking and Karen had gone off to put Denny to bed, she and Buck finally had a heart to heart talk and cleared the air.

Bobby would ask Buck to come and help him make dinner for everyone, going back to teaching Buck some more of the basics and earning back the boy's smile. Then during the weekend, Bobby and Athena asked Buck and Eddie to come over with Chris. Athena and Eddie played games with the kids out in the backyard, even May putting down her phone and joining in. Inside the house Bobby and Buck finally got the chance to talk one on one. If they both came out later looking a little worse for ware with tear reddened eyes, no one said anything. They all just had a wonderful time playing good old fashioned hot potato.

Eddie though, Eddie was just there. Buck stayed with them and Eddie wanted to wait on him hand and foot but Buck quickly put a stop to that. Thank God of Christopher being there to make the agonizing waiting just a little more bearable. Late at night though, when Chris was fast asleep but the anxiety would be too much for Buck and he would just wander through the house, Eddie would suddenly be there to hold him and reassure him that no matter what they would be okay. Eddie had stopped going out to the street fighting, they had yet to talk about it, but he had better reasons to stay home at night.

Eddie was there as he felt that he should have been from the very beginning. It was why when Dr. Matthews finally called and asked Buck to come to his office on Monday morning, Eddie was sitting right there beside him. From where he sat behind his desk with the red folder that contained Mr. Buckley's test results, Dr. Matthews was pleased to see that despite how nervous the young man appeared, he actually looked a thousand times better than the last time the doctor had seen him, and more importantly he was not alone.

" Thank you for coming in so quickly Mr. Buckley, I know these last two weeks of waiting must have been horrendous." Dr. Matthews began, watching as Buck and Eddie both sent him mildly pained smiled.

" That's putting it lightly Doc." Buck said with a small huff despite his heart pounding hard inside his chest.

" Well let's not delay any further." Dr. Matthews declared before he reached for the red folder and picked it up.

Buck and Eddie sat completely still, laser focused on Dr. Matthews' movements as he thumbed the folder open and looked at its contents. Eddie reached over and wrapped his hand around Buck's wrist in reassurance as they watched the doctor read the contents of the folder and then look up at them with a champion level poker face.

There was a moment of charged silence, and then Dr. Matthews parted his lips to speak.

_Half an hour later at the firehouse..._

The entire firehouse had this dour energy surrounding it. While some where quietly milling about, Bobby was holed up in his office trying to do paper work but finding it extremely hard to focus because his eyes kept going to his phone every few seconds, just in case he got a text from either Eddie or Buck. Outside in the engine bay Chim was doing the same while checking the gages on the rigs. He was also texting back and forth with Maddie, peppering her with questions and also reassurances. Hen just stood stoic at the front of the house, keeping her eyes open for Eddie's truck since he and Buck would be coming in together.

She'd been standing there quietly for the last fifteen minutes. Then she caught sight of a familiar dark blue pickup truck. With her heart racing, Hen turned to where Chim was half-heartedly checking the rolled up hoses and called out to him.

" Chim go get Cap, I see Eddie's truck, they're coming!" She said loudly.

Chim almost dropped his phone but the moment Hen's words registered he was taking off to go get Cap. A couple of minutes later all three members of the 118 team were standing in wait at the mouth of the fire engine bay, eagerly watching as Eddie's blue pickup slowly rolled into the parking lot. It was agonizing as the truck slowly parked into a spot that was thankfully close to the mouth the of the bay. Bobby tried to keep his face as neutral as possible but his eyes had already started to burn. Chim just swallowed hard and let out shaky breath after breath. Hen stood completely still with her hands clenched tightly into fists.

They watched as Buck and Eddie climbed out of the latter's truck with their duffel bags in hand. Buck and Eddie both turned to see their family standing there waiting for them. Behind them they could see that the rest of the house was gathering and looking nervous. For a moment everything went completely still. Eddie and Buck standing by the car while Bobby, Hen, and Chim stood just feet away. Then Buck simply let the strap of his duffel bag slip from his shoulder, the bag dropping with a small thud and then Buck was running towards them with a smile so wide and happy it put the sun to shame.

Bobby, Chim, and Hen all released the breaths they were collectively holding and then they were rushing forward to meet Buck half way.

" Guys! Guys I am okay, I don't have it! I don't have it!" Buck yelled almost hysterically as he rushed into Bobby, Hen, and Chim's waiting arms.

" Oh thank God!" Bobby cried without shame.

" Don't ever scare us like that again Buckaroo!" Hen said as she kissed Buck's temple and squeezed him.

" Yeah what she said Buck! Did you call Maddie? Should I call her?" Chim asked wetly as he gripped Buck's other side.

" Yeah I called her the second we left the hospital." Buck answered, trying to use his long arms to hold everyone at once.

When a tearful Eddie got close he was pulled into the giant group hug, while behind them the rest of the firehouse was cheering and clapping without shame, everyone absolutely relieved to their bones.

After several minutes of just holding onto Buck, Bobby reluctantly pulled back, taking the younger man's face in his hands as he spoke.

" Holy crap Kid." Bobby breathed with a shaky smile.

" Y-Yeah." Buck choked out.

Taking a need breath and nodding, Bobby pulled his hands away and stood to full height.

" Get yourself ready for work Firefighter Buckley. Call could come any second and you gotta tell us what the doctor." He said with his "captain voice" though if it was a little thick with emotion, no one commented on it.

" You got it Cap." Buck said as he blinked back his own tears.

Hen let out a watery laugh and Chim sniffled, while a shakily smiling Eddie handed Buck his duffel.

" Same goes for you Firefighter Diaz." Bobby said with a smile.

" On it Cap." Eddie said quietly before he stepped forward and gave Bobby a quick hug.

Buck and Eddie both took their leave to head to the locker room and get into their uniforms.

Bobby pulled out his phone and immediately dialed the number for a certain Goddess of a police sergeant he had the privilege of belonging to. After a couple of rings, Athena answered on the other end.

" Bobby? Baby did they come in?" Athena asked from where she sat behind the wheel of her parked cruiser.

" Tell me now Bobby Nash, don't worry I am parked." She demanded sternly.

Bobby let out a shaky breath, the smile seemingly permanently bolted to his face as he answered his wife.

" He's okay Athena, the tests came back negative." Bobby said, needing to pull the phone away from his ear a little as Athena let out an almost supersonic cry of pure joy and relief.

As Bobby laughed, a grinning Hen pulled on his sleeve to get his attention. At his questioning look, she pointed to the locker room area where through the glass his eyes fell on Buck and Eddie.

More specifically, they fell on the sight of Eddie Diaz almost dipping Evan Buckley like they were dancing as he kissed the younger man to within an inch of his life.

" You should tell your missus that our boy is more than okay Cap." Hen said sagely before she turned her attention to Chim and sent him a simple look.

With a mock sigh of defeat, Chim reached into his pocket to pull out his wallet and fork over his wager to the winner of their bet.

" Looks like I'll have to finally file those forms with HR." Bobby said to his very happy wife on the other end of the line, earning a hearty laugh from her even as she wiped the joyful tears from her eyes. She was Athena Grant after all.

Inside the locker room, Eddie and Buck finally came up for air, Buck letting out a breathless but happy laugh as he stood up straight and pressed his forehead to Eddie's, the two of them beaming.

They were on their way to being okay.

**The End... Or Rather the Beginning of Something Good**


	4. Reconciliation 1

Disclaimer: I do not now, nor have I ever owned the rights to 911 or its characters. It all belongs to Fox TV and the show's creators like Brad Falchuk and whoever else.

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The Reconciliations: Chimney Busts a Move

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" Hey Hen, what do you think my chances of survival are if I go down there and make contact with Scary Quiet Buck?" Howard "Chimney" Han asked with an air of nonchalance but his stomach quietly twisting itself into multiple knots.

He and his partner Henrietta Wilson were currently at the railing of the upper level of the firehouse, overlooking the engine bay. More specifically Hen was sitting with her back to the railing, looking through her email on her phone while Chimney was leaning against the railing and looking down at one of the fire engines where the aforementioned Scary Quiet Buck was silently working on taking inventory of the truck's emergency equipment, no trace of the usual exuberance with which he did tasks. He was silent and serious, and very much not their Buck.

It had been on Monday that Athena, much like her namesake, had brought the wrath of a goddess down on all of them for their neglect and unfair treatment on this young man. It had also been the day that Buck had revealed the horrible indignities he had suffered while his teammates and captain had been too busy being petty, and most importantly the terrible possibility of Leukemia that had been hanging over his head already for a whole week, and he still had the rest of this week to go. Tuesday was a day where all they had was their own guilt and Christopher Diaz had enjoyed having Buck all too himself. Wednesday was when Buck came back to work with a pale and unhappy Eddie Diaz never too far from his side. Buck was the one ignoring him for once.

Through out that whole day Buck was silent and whenever anyone tried to approach him all he had to do was look at them with his usually warm and expressive eyes colder that and his face eerily devoid of his usual emotion to have said person bout facing and all but fleeing. When Bobby approached him and told Buck that he was no longer on chore duty, Buck's face hadn't lit up, the frigidness remained. He had basically given everyone the cold shoulder and secluded himself to the farthest corner of the upper level. He had just sat on one of the couches and watched TV, exuding an aura of "Stay the Hell Away".

Eddie of course had ignored all that when he got a text from Carla and then immediately made his way over to Buck. Buck had glowered at him most profoundly but Eddie had wisely not said anything as he had take a seat next to Buck, just held out his phone to the other man. Buck had frowned at him before his eyes had looked to the screen of Eddie's phone.

In an instant the frigidness had gone from Buck, a warm smile coming to his face for the first time that whole day as he took the phone from Eddie and stared at the screen with pure love. It hadn't taken Bobby, Hen, and Chim very long to realize that Eddie was probably showing Buck a no doubt devastatingly adorable picture of Christopher that Carla sent him. A picture of one of the only person who hadn't done wrong by Buck.

Inevitably the moment ended when Buck had given Eddie his phone back and given him the very barest of nods in acknowledgment before he had turned his attention back to the TV and effectively dismissed the older man. Eddie had wisely continued not saying a word and made a swift exit.

For lunch and for dinner, Buck had simply sat through and eaten his food without conversation, sitting at the very end of the table instead of between Eddie and Bobby like he normally would have.

Even when he had left with Eddie after shift, he barely said a word and it was absolutely foreign to everyone in the station.

Now it was late morning on Thursday and Chimney was trying to gather his courage to make that first crucial step to try and mend things with Evan Buckley.

" He might be pissed in ways we've never seen but he's still Buck." Hen said sagely as she looked up from her phone.

" Just take a deep breath and ask him if he'd like to help you mop the locker room floors like Bobby wanted." She said with an encouraging look.

" Thanks Hen." Chim said, sending his partner a warm look before he took a deep breath like she had told him too and stepped away from the railing, making his way to the stairs and descending them at a normal pace. It felt equal parts like he was walking through molasses and running at breakneck speed with each step he took until he was firmly standing on the lower level of the Firehouse.

For a moment he took another look at Buck where the younger man was standing by the open storage hatch, checking over the duffel bags full of equipment and supplies with his back to Chim. Steeling his nerve, Chim stepped forward and closed the distance between him and his friend and coworker. When he was about halfway to Buck when the younger man suddenly spoke without turning.

" Is there something you want Howard?" Buck asked neutrally as he slowly turned around and set hard, unwelcome blue eyes on Chimney.

Chim felt his insides freeze for a moment and hearing Buck call him by his first name actually made something inside the older man break. Swallowing the small lump in his throat, Chim forced himself to speak.

"H-Hey Buck I just... umm... Bobby asked me to mop the floors of the locker room and I thought I'd ask if you... If you wanted to help?" Chim asked tentatively.

Buck just started at him hard, his normally so expressive face giving nothing away. Chim resisted the urge to cower a bit when suddenly Eddie had seemingly materialized out of thin air beside Buck. Chim watched as Buck's demeanor somehow grew even more frigid when his eyes landed on Eddie.

" I got the rest of the inventory Buck." Eddie said quietly as he held out his hand to take the clipboard Buck was holding.

Buck blinked slowly and didn't move for a long moment before he seemed to deflate. Without saying a word he handed Eddie the clipboard and walked away towards the supply closet where the mops and other cleaning supplies were kept. Chim watched Eddie give Buck this look of quiet longing that was actually really gut-wrenching. Chim sent Eddie a sympathetic look before he scrambled away after Buck. Eddie sighed and turned away to take up the task of inventorying the truck.

Preparing the buckets of soapy water were made in awkward silence. Chim wanted to ask Buck how Maddie was but thought better of it. Both Buckley siblings were mighty pissed at him and he couldn't fault them for it. He might now have done any of the horrible things like Johnson, Ricciutti, and Coleman had done but he had been complacent, he hadn't had Buck's back and now he had to deal with the fallout of that choice.

Chim and Buck rolled the pails of soapy water into the locker room and got to work mopping the floors. Buck focused on the front while Chim took the back. Buck worked methodically, although his eyes would steal quick glances through the glass walls of the locker room at Eddie where the other fireman was standing by the fire engine, making checks to the inventory list. Yes, Buck was mad as Hell still, but that didn't stop him from still wanting to see the man who had declared his love for him on Monday.

Buck went back to mopping, not wanting Eddie to catch him, conflicting emotions swirling around in his gut. He had just finished mopping along the glass wall when the sound of shoes rhythmically squeaking against the wet floor caught his ear. Frowning lightly and growing concerned for Chim despite his lingering anger, Buck put his mop securely in the bucket before silently making his way further into the back of the locker room. The sight that greeted Buck when he looked around the set of lockers had the younger man's blue eyes widening in mild astonishment.

There was Howard "Chimney" Han, executing a perfect moonwalk across the wet locker room floor. The man had his ear buds in and was no doubt listening to some classic tunes on his phone.

The older man was so caught up in the moment he didn't see that he had an audience. So he transitions from moonwalking straight into using the handle of his mop as part of a neat little tutting routine complete with high kicks.

Before he could stop himself Buck barked out a loud laugh. It was loud enough to break through the shroud of music filling Chim's ears. With a startled yelp Chim dropped his mop and turned sharply to finally face his unexpected audience.

" Nice moves." Buck said, his smile dimming to something quieter, tinted with a sadness that made any elation Chim had felt at earning a laugh from Buck.

" Th-Thanks, couldn't resist the opportunity."Chim said with a shrug and a smile that he hoped didn't look like a grimace. With a sigh Chim spoke.

" I danced around a lot when I was left behind on calls when I first got here." He said quietly.

The smile instantly dropped from Buck's face and his eyes closed off. He looked ready to bolt out of there at any second. There was this moment of oppressive silence where neither of them breathed, then Buck blinked and seemed to deflate, his shoulders hunching as he sighed.

" Then you know how much being left behind hurts." Buck said quietly, pinning Chim with this absolutely heartbreaking look.

Chim would have honestly preferred it if Buck had still been glaring at him.

Chim could only duck his head as a fresh wave of shame washed over him.

" Buck... Evan I- I am so sorry for what's been going on, and the part I played in it." Chim said as he forced himself to step forward and close the distance between him and Buck.

Buck nodded but wouldn't really look at Chim as he leaned against the lockers and crossed his arms.

" I am actually not as mad at you or Hen. You guys didn't throw a urinal cake at me or anything-" Buck began to say before Chim was right there in front of him with a stricken look on his face as he cut him off.

" Buck we were worse, we weren't there when you needed us most, when you've always been there for us. I will never forgive myself. I might not be the Captain but I am the second highest ranking officer in this house and I didn't have your back. I'll report myself to the higher-" Chim began to ramble when Buck just held up his hand and silenced him immediately.

" You are not going to that man. You've got both me and Maddie angry with you, that's punishment enough. It'll pass and I got bigger problems to worry about." Buck said sadly.

" Isn't there any way your doctor could speed things up with your blood tests?" Chim asked almost desperately.

" Don't I wish it." Buck said with an awful, empty little chuckle.

" Are you feeling okay otherwise? Chim asked in concern.

Buck looked up at Chim with another utterly pained smiled as he nodded his head. Letting out a shaky breath, Buck replied.

" That's the thing Howard, I feel fine. I feel completely like myself. Even the bruise on my back is nearly gone, the only thing that really hurts is this." The blue eyed man said quietly as he pointed to the center of his chest.

Chim felt his own heart give an almighty lurch. Throwing caution to the wind, Chim reached out and yanked Buck to him.

Chim was glad when Buck didn't shove him away, instead he just stood and didn't respond to him for several long, agonizing seconds before he finally relented and wrapped his arms around Chim. There in the quiet seclusion the locker room provided, two friends took that first step to reconciliation.

" This doesn't magically fix everything Chim." Buck said sadly against the older man's shoulder.

" I know, I know but hey at least you called me Chim. Howard's my name but man, it really sounds weird when you call me that." Chim said with a watery chuckle as he gave Buck a firm squeeze. He then drew back and held Buck's shoulders as he spoke.

" I am on the up and up, and I know in my heart that you're gonna be okay Buddy." Chim assured before his face crumbled a little.

" I trust Maddie and what she said about this all being a precaution because of the blood thinners messing with you but God forbid you do get that kind of news, I want you to understand that you won't be alone. We're all going to be right there with you Kid. Besides, we've both been through some crazy things. Me with the rebar and the stabbing and you with the truck and the embolism, we'll kick this ailment's ass too, mark my words." Chim said with a winning grin and his eyes bright.

Buck sniffled and then sent Chim a quiet smile are he nodded. Then with a sigh he stepped out of Chim's hold.

" We should get back to mopping these floors, or Cap will be on us." He said as he turned to leave.

" He'll be on me you mean." Chim sassed.

" Go bust some more moves Dancing Queen." Buck shot back over his with a somewhat dimmer version of his usual resplendent grin.

Chim felt like he had won the lottery all the same.

" The boy knows an actually pop culture reference, I might just cry." Chim sassed back as picked up the mop he had dropped.

Together and having taken that first crucial step towards getting back to good with each other, Chim and Buck got back to mopping, and if Buck happened to bust a small move of his own while he mopped and Chim showed off his mop version of The Lawnmower dance move within the safety of the inner locker room, there were no witnesses.


	5. Reconciliation 2

Disclaimer: I do not now, nor have I ever owned the rights to 911 or its characters. It all belongs to Fox TV and the show's creators like Brad Falchuk and whoever else.

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The Reconciliations: Karen's Famous Huckleberry Pie and a Heart To Heart with Henrietta

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" He's not gonna show." Hen said with a dejected sigh as she set down a bowl of freshly grilled vegetables onto the dining room table to join the rest of the small but no less impressively sumptuous looking spread of items for dinner.

" Wouldn't blame him if he didn't." Karen said, not pulling any punches as she looked up from the place mat she was adjusting. Then she scoffed and sent her wife one of her patented quirked eyebrows.

" Quit being so negative Hen, you asked Buck to come to dinner and made it a point to mention I was making my famous huckleberry pie. He'll show up for that no matter how rightly mad he might be at you." She added with a knowing little chuckle.

Hen turned her dark eyes to her wife and found a smile coming to her lips.

" I love you Karen Wilson." She said with a besotted sigh.

" Oh I know, doesn't mean I am not still seriously disappointed in you for how you all treated him Henrietta Wilson." Karen said with all seriousness before she deflated and made her way round the table to Hen.

Hen hummed in approval as Karen took her face in her hands and gave her deep, lingering peck. When Karen drew back she pressed her forehead to Hen's as she spoke.

" He'll come Hen, not for the pie but because he's Buck and we have to be there for him now, like we should have been." Karen said softly with surety as she and Hen held each other tenderly.

" Karen I don't even know where to begin." Hen said with a sigh and her eyes burning.

" No matter how angry he rightfully is, he's still Buck. You start with your most heartfelt apology and go from there." Karen said with conviction.

Hen contemplated her wife's words before she sighed and nodded.

" You're right. I gotta face the part I played in this whole mess, the part I played in hurting Buck." She said quietly.

With a sigh they let go of each other and went back to making the final tweaks to their dinner spread. Denny of course was playing his handheld videogame in the living room, blissfully unaware to all the drama that had been going on at work with his mom Hen. All he knew was that tonight they were having Buck over for dinner and he couldn't wait to show him the cool new moves he'd learned on the fighting game he was playing.

About ten minutes later, with Hen and Karen having joined Denny in the living room with Hen trying to relax, the doorbell rang. Hen was alert and on her feet within seconds. She wanted to run to the door, at the same time her feet felt like lead and there was this block of ice settling in the pit of her stomach. Taking a deep breath Hen made her way to the front door.

Hen reached up and undid the locks before wrapping her fingers around the doorknob and pulling the front door open. The door swung away to reveal the front porch and much to Hen and Karen's relief, the tall blond haired and blue eyed guest they had been hoping for.

Buck stood dressed in a black and red checkered button-up shirt with a charcoal gray denim jacket over it and black jeans. In one hand he held a cake carrier with an opaque lid that obscured whatever goodies were inside, in the other a bottle of wine.

Hen resisted the urge to shake her head. This boy was too much.

" Hey Buck." Hen said, forcing herself to smile quietly rather than grin ear to ear and look foolish, despite how happy and relieved that Buck had actually shown up tonight.

" Hi Hen." Buck said quietly, some of the guardedness leaving his face as he gave her a small smile.

For a moment they just stood there with a million things between them, but then Hen snapped out of it and stepped aside.

" Come in, come in." She urged.

Buck nodded and stepped over the threshold handing Hen the bottle of wine while holding on to the cake carrier, his smile widening into something closer to natural as he caught sight of Karen and Denny, though nowhere near his usual dazzling grin.

" Hey Buck!" Denny said as he trotted forward towards the blue eyed man.

" Hey Denny." Buck greeted back, chuckling and showing off his great upper body strength despite the weight he had unfortunately lost as he easily caught the young boy with one arm and lifted Denny clean off his feet as he hugged him soundly.

" Good to see you Buck!" Karen said with a smile as Buck set Denny down and held out the cake carrier to her.

" What have we got here?" Karen asked as she took the carrier and eyed it with interest.

" Christopher was a bit bummed that he couldn't come to dinner with you guys so he decided he would bake you all something. He was pretty adamant that super awesome cupcakes were a must for tonight." Buck explained with pride.

" That boy's a gem." Hen said with a smile as she joined them.

" Yeah, he is and don't worry it's not some crazy recipe said eight year old came up with, Eddie ran to the store and got blue velvet cake mix." Buck explained, his eyes shuttering a little at the mention of Christopher's father.

" Blue cake?Awesome!" Denny proclaimed as he bounced with excitement.

" Complete with a multicolored mess of buttercream frosting on top." Buck added with a chuckle at Denny and a wink at Karen. He pointedly didn't quite look at Hen and she noticed.

He was still mad and understandably so.

" Let me go get the wine opener." Hen said, any excuse to duck away and gather herself as she turned and basically fled into the kitchen.

She could feel both Karen and Buck's eyes on her but she needed a moment, just a moment to try and figure out how to even begin.

Hen went about rummaging through the drawers for the wine opener when a familiar, calming presence came up behind her. A shaky Hen turned to see her beloved wife.

" Just breathe babe. He's here. Denny's actually showing him his video game as we speak." Karen said with a reassuring smile.

Hen blinked and then let out a profound breath before nodding and leaning in to give Karen a quick peck. She turned back to the drawer and calmly picked up the wine opener before she and Karen headed out of the kitchen. Without saying a word, Karen took the bottle of wine and the opener from Karen and gestured with a smooth tilt of her head for Hen to go and join Denny and Buck in the living room.

" Nice combo Denny!" Buck said with genuine enthusiasm as he and Denny sat on one of the plush sofas in the living room, the both of them glued to Denny's Nintendo Switch with Denny at the controls. Denny beamed with pride at Buck's praise.

They both looked up as Hen hesitantly approached.

" Hey guys." Hen said softly.

" Hey mom." Denny said before immediately going back to the game, while Buck continued to hold Hen's gaze.

Another moment, a million more things passing between them unsaid. Then Buck blinked and sighed, a bone-deep sadness filling his blue eyes. Hen absolutely hated seeing such a sight, on Buck of all people. It was Buck who broke the silence.

" Join us Hen." Was all he said quietly before he averted his gaze and focused solely on Denny and the screen.

Hen blinked rapidly before she quickly sank down on Denny's free side, turning her attention to the video game but hyperaware of Buck and in silent awe of his graciousness. Together Hen and Buck watched Denny go a couple of rounds against the videogame's generated opponents, an almost comfortable energy around them, but the tension still there, quiet and slowly roiling beneath the surface. Hen would have gladly stayed in that limbo for the rest of the night if it meant Buck would allow her to even sit by him, but soon Karen was stepping into the room.

" Dinner's ready guys." She said with a smile and a pointed look to Hen.

" C'mon Denny, let's see what your moms have cooked up." Buck said as he and Denny rose from the sofa and made their way into the dining room, Hen trailing after them still trying to figure out how she would even begin to breach the subject that weighed heavily between them.

For now though she would put her focus on making sure Buck had the absolutely best dinner with them as she took her seat beside Karen who was at the head of the table and right across from Buck with Denny beside him, eagerly chatting away about a new racing game that was coming out in a few months.

" Sounds like an awesome game Denny, but are you telling me about it because it's cool or because it just so happens that you got a birthday coming up in a couple of months?" Buck asked with a tilt of his head and a knowing smile.

Denny looked like a deer caught in the headlights before his face broke into this wide, toothy grin as he giggling.

Karen's face took on a look of mock shock while Hen chuckled at the antics of her son and pseudo brother.

" Sorry Buck." Denny said in that sweet way only children could, though he did waggle his eyes hilarious, causing all three adults to break into another fit of chuckles.

" Alright, alright let's eat before everything goes cold." Karen said taking charge.

As they filled their plates with the items of their choice, Hen decided to take a small leap and picked up the bowl of roasted garlic and herb potatoes and held it out to Buck. Buck looked up and without hesitating, took the offered bowl.

" Thanks Hen." He said quietly as he ladled some of the potatoes onto his plate and then handed the bowl back to her across the table.

" Sure thing Buck." Hen said, feeling her throat close up a little but battling it back as Karen spoke.

" You boys better not leave a single morsel, especially you Buck." Karen said giving the younger man a pointed look, absolutely hating how thin Buck had gotten.

" I will, I promise. It's be a crime not to." Buck said with some of his usual warmth as he gestured to the spread.

" Mmm-hm besides that, the quicker you guys eat the quicker you get to have pie and cupcakes." Hen said as she sent a loving smile both Buck and Denny's way, delighted when Buck couldn't hide his excitement as he glanced at said huckleberry pie.

As everyone got to eating and enjoying Karen and Hen's combined cooking, Karen and Hen carefully asked Buck questions. He would answer Karen but there was a definite hesitance with Hen that she absolutely hated. Whenever Karen would ask after Christopher Buck's face would light up and he'd get animated, almost like he was his old self again. The moment Christopher's father was mentioned though, Buck's enthusiasm would dim and he'd give stilted explanations of how Eddie Diaz was handling things and trying to make amends.

Dinner was thoroughly enjoyed, Karen's huckleberry pie was reduced to just two slices Buck would take with him back to Eddie, and the blue velvet cupcakes with the mess of multicolored cupcakes were surprisingly fluffy and not too much of a sugar bomb like Hen and Karen were expecting, so Denny enjoyed two of them. Inevitably Denny's eyes began to droop and it was time for him to turn in.

" Promise you'll come back again?" Denny asked as he rubbed at his eyes and looked up at Buck.

" Of course I will Buddy." Buck assured as he knelt down and hugged the little boy soundly.

It made something in Hen's heart crack wide open as she was once again reminded that Christopher Diaz wasn't the only child who had missed Evan Buckley.

" Alright sleepyhead, let's get you ready for bed." Karen said with a warm smile to Buck as she squeezed his shoulder and wrapped her other arm around her sleepy son.

" Goodnight Denny, I am really glad I got to have dinner with you tonight buddy."

Denny nodded and then he unexpectedly lunged forward and hugged Buck again, who naturally gathered him in.

" Don't go away again Buck." Denny said quietly as he looked up at Buck with an absolutely heartbreaking expression.

Hen had to bring a hand up to her hand to keep herself from sobbing, while Karen had to look away. Buck looked absolutely wrecked for a few seconds before he quickly composed himself and full on picked Denny up into his arms and hugged him even more soundly as he spoke.

" I won't Buddy, and I am sorry. Us grownups just had some stuff we needed to deal with. I promise you, I'm always here for you guys. Okay?" Buck said with his voice wavering a little at the end.

" Okay." Denny said before he gave Buck a final squeeze before the blue-eyed man set him down.

Karen blinked back her own tears and shared a final nod before she lead Denny away to get ready for bed, as she stepped passed Hen, Karen sent her wife this pointed look that said it all.

_You damn well better fix what you helped break Henrietta Wilson._

Hen's attention immediately turned back to Buck as she watched the younger man sniffle and then go sink down wearily on the sofa, looking like he was in physical pain. Steeling her resolve Hen made her way across the room and sank down on the opposite side of the sofa. They sat in silence, an alien and painfully awkward silence that was so unlike them it literally made Hen's whole body feel like it was on fire.

Then like a switch being flipped, Hen stomped down on her apprehension and made the first move. Buck started lightly as a warm hand was suddenly there, cupping his cheek and gently making him turn his head. He soon found himself face to face with a guilt-ridden but determined Henrietta Wilson.

" I am so thankful you came to dinner Evan, but we really do need to talk." She said quietly.

" Yeah, we really do Henrietta." Buck said just as quietly.

Nodding and taking a deep breath Hen spoke.

" I am so sorry for how I treated you Buck, I never should have shut you out like that. Yes, that lawsuit hurt but I get it now, you felt like you had no other choice." She said with understanding.

Buck sighed and leaned into Hen's hand before he nodded and spoke.

" I let that lawyer get into my head, I felt so alone and like I was being replaced. I just... It felt like you guys were all moving on and I was just standing still." Buck said softly, his eyes growing over-bright.

" Cap was looking out for you Buck, you know he cares about you a lot. I agree he just went about it the wrong way, he should have been upfront with you from the start. But Buck, the other stuff after you came back, the bullying... Why didn't you come to us?" Hen asked softly.

Buck actually averted his gaze, looking so young and heartbroken as he answered.

" I didn't think any of you would have cared... They umm... they would say things-" Buck began to say before he cut himself off and looked horrified that he had said something. He looked ready to bolt but Hen was having none of it as she reached up with her other hand and firmly held Buck's face as she spoke.

" No Buck, you do not hide this. Tell me what else happened. What did they say?" Hen said with her tone leaving no room for argument.

Taking a deep breath, Buck did as he was asked.

" Johnson he... when he spilled the coffee on purpose he called me Jeeves and told me he'd make me shine his boots next time, and other times when you guys were out on a call he'd just shout 'clean this mess up Major domo' or call me Pretty Butler under his breath. Marcum from the nightshift cornered me in the locker room and called me a traitor for suing Cap and the city, that I was a stupid idiot for daring to show my face at the house, that Cap should've sent me packing off to another firehouse rather than have all of you keep suffering me. With others it was all these little things like rubbing it in my face that they got to go out on calls, that you guys weren't talking to me, that Cap made me do all the grunt work. I guess there were a few people who thought it was hilarious that I didn't have you guys anymore." Buck explained quietly.

He watched as an absolutely horrified expression filled Hen's face, her mouth actually hanging open.

" What?... Buck I... What?" Hen said eloquently.

Buck just ducked his head and shrugged. He hadn't told Athena everything, if he had he was pretty sure the firehouse would not have been left standing.

" Buck? You could have come to us, you should have come to us but I get it. I get it and I am so sorry. You're like a brother to me and one of my best friends, you are always there for me and I let you down when you needed us." Hen croaked as the tears finally began to fall.

Buck looked back up at Hen sadly. Hen sighed and shook her head.

" Me of all people should understood, should have seen what was happening because of everything I faced when I first got to the firehouse. They called me all manner of things, the captain made me do all the awful chores. I literally had to honk the horn of the firetruck to get people to actually listen to me. The only other thing that kept me going was Chim, he was there. I am so sorry I just stayed where I was, that the same thing was happening to you and I wasn't there. I am never, ever going to forgive myself." Hen sobbed as she stroked Buck's pale face.

" You're here now, that's better than nothing." Buck said softly with a pained smile that made Hen's heart die.

There was this long moment of painfully charged silence before Buck looked into Hen's dark eyes and spoke.

" Am I gonna die Hen?" He asked softly in quiet terror, his eyes filling.

Hen felt her heart actually stop for a second as she remembered the other half of Buck's nightmare.

Leukemia, Buck was facing leukemia. He was still waiting for the test results and he had been facing this agonizing wait by himself for a whole week, because they had been too pigheaded to see that something was deeply wrong.

" No, no Buck. Don't you dare say that." Hen said as she finally pulled Buck into her arms and nearly squeezed the breath out of him.

" You are not alone Evan Buckley. I am here and I am not leaving you like that ever again, do you hear me?" Hen said into Buck's ear as she ran her hands over his shoulders and the back of his head, wanting him to feel all the love and reassurance she had for him. She tightened her hold as she felt Buck's whole body hitch against her.

" I hear you Henrietta Wilson, thank you." Buck said with a quiet sob as he finally allowed his own tears to fall.

For what seemed an eternity Hen and Buck simply clung to each other in the silence. It was Buck who finally broke it.

" I am still so mad at them Hen." He said brokenly.

" Bobby and Eddie?" Hen asked knowingly.

" Y-Yeah." Buck said as he drew back and wiped at his tearstained face.

" I just really wish Bobby had been upfront with me about waiting to get back on the job. I would've understood but he just pulled the rug out from under me, but Eddie just... He ripped my heart out on purpose." Buck said with anger taking hold of his features.

" Because he barred you from seeing Christopher." Hen said rather than asked.

" I get it, he's Christopher's dad and I am not really anyone-" Buck began to say when Hen cut him off with a shake of her head.

" That's not true and you know it, you love that little boy just as fiercely as Eddie does. I didn't know and I failed you again Buck. I never went through something as hellish as you did, not being able to have contact, but me and Karen had to go through Eva threatening to sue for full custody of our baby boy. I was right there and it kills me that you felt you couldn't turn to me Buck." Hen sniffled.

" I wanna rip his head off Hen, but at the same time it hurts so much that I have Chris back but I can't let Eddie back in." Buck croaked.

" Because you love him and he broke you heart worse that the rest of us." Hen said sadly.

Buck looked up sharply at Hen's words before he just deflated and nodded.

" What do I do Hen? I hate feeling like this." Buck sighed.

" You don't owe Eddie anything Buck, you don't owe us a single second of your time. It's a privilege that I have you here with me in my house, that you actually had dinner with us. Eddie is going to have to earn you back Buck, just like the rest of us. Even if you forgive him out of the goodness of your heart and for Christopher's sake, he's gonna have a hard time forgiving himself for the part he played in this whole mess. You can be as mad as you want at him Buck, if he loves you he will endure it and retake his place in your life no matter how long that takes." Hen explained sagely.

Buck contemplated Hen's words before he nodded and reached out for her again. Hen wasted no time in wrapping her arms back around Buck. She looked up from Buck's shoulder to see Karen in the dining room, quietly gathering up the left overs and the remainder of the huckleberry pie meant to go home with Buck. Karen looked across the room at Hen and gave her a quiet smile and a nod of approval before she ducked away into the kitchen.

" I have to tell Bobby Buck, Johnson might be out but Marcum and the others can't go unpunished. I won't let this stand, it never should have happened in the first place." Hen said in a tone leaving no room for argument.

Buck sighed and nodded, knowing there was no use in fighting Hen on this. He had no idea how Bobby would react or what he would do, and he truly was not looking forward to inevitably having to face Bobby one on one.

A little while later Buck had an armful of perfectly packed leftovers and pie to take with him as he, Karen, and Hen waited outside in the cool night air for Buck's ride. Soon a slightly beat-up pickup truck was pulling up in front of the house with Eddie Diaz behind the wheel.

" Thanks so much for coming over Buck and you know you can call me anytime. Besides that, remember what you promised Denny goes for me too. Don't be a stranger." Karen said wanting to hug him but settling for a firm squeeze of one his arms since they were laden with a collection of assorted Tupperware.

" I will Karen, thanks so much for tonight." Buck said with a warm smile to Karen. It dimmed a little when he turned to Hen though.

" You too Hen." He said quietly, with lingering sadness.

Hen nodded and gave Buck a slightly pained smile, all of their attention going to the front path of the house as Eddie made his way to them.

" Hey guys, did you have a good dinner?" Eddie asked casually, looking to Hen and Karen but subtly glued to Buck.

Hen and Karen both watched as Buck's eyes shuttered and he wouldn't look directly at Eddie as he gave him a mute nod.

" Don't worry Eddie, we made sure Buck here was well fed. Lord knows he needs to get some meat back on his bones." Karen said to ease the tension. Much to her and Hen's quiet delight Buck gave her a look of mock annoyance before smiling warmly.

" Lemme take those." Eddie said taking the Tupperware boxes Buck was holding before the younger man could protest. The air between them crackled with tension both positive and negative, anger warring with want.

" Thanks again for dinner." Buck said with a final nod before he stepped past Eddie and started making his way to the former's waiting truck. Eddie watched him go the whole way before he turned to his coworker and her wife.

" See you tomorrow Hen. Good seeing you Karen." Eddie said before he turned and followed in Buck's wake.

They watched on as Buck opened one of the truck's back doors for Eddie to put the food in the back before making his way to the front passenger seat and climbing in, all without really acknowledging the older man.

" Eddie's got his work cut out for him." Karen said with a sigh.

" Yeah, but he'll get Buck back eventually." Hen said as she and Karen gave the pair a final wave and watched the truck peal away from the sidewalk and off into the night.

Holding hands, Hen and Karen headed back inside their house. Karen went off to get ready for bed herself, but Hen lingered in the living room, sitting down on the sofa and taking a deep breath before she pulled out her phone.

She had a very important call to make that couldn't wait.

She swiped across her screen and hit the number before bringing the phone up to her ear. It rang a couple of times before the person on the other side answered.

" Hey Cap, glad I caught you." Hen said pleasantly, nodding when Bobby greeted her on the other side before she grew serious and spoke.

" Sorry for calling so late but this couldn't wait. We had Buck over for dinner tonight and it went good. Me and him finally got to talk. I just found out some more disturbing details about how he's been treated at the station and you are not gonna like it one bit." Hen said ominously.


	6. Reconciliation 3

Disclaimer: I do not now, nor have I ever owned the rights to 911 or its characters. It all belongs to Fox TV and the show's creators like Brad Falchuk and whoever else.

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The Reconciliations: Bobby, Buck and a Couple of Bullies Being Addressed

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Eddie pulled on his black tank top and shut the door to his locker. Baggy gray sweatpants and sneakers finished off the look as he headed out of the locker room and over to the gym area.

As he neared the area Eddie's eyes immediately zeroed in on the tall, blue eyed blond who was currently using the dumbbells. They weren't the larger ones that Buck normally used, but then again the younger man had lost a significant amount of weight and muscle-mass right under their noses because they had all been holding on to their grudges, their hurt feelings over the lawsuit. Reasons that now seemed so completely trivial, inconsequential against the damage that had been done to Buck, damage they both caused and allowed others to inflict.

Eddie felt a wave of longing go through him as he tried to subtly watch Buck as he made his way over to one of the bench presses. As he loaded weights on the bar, Eddie kept glancing at Buck, who was dressed in a simple white t-shirt and dark blue shorts, but also noticed that there were other eyes subtly watching the younger man. Hen was quietly glancing at him now and then from where she sat by the railing of the upper level. A couple of other firefighters who were working out were taking furtive looks at Buck. Jaime Marcum had this unreadable look on his face as he kept stealing glances at Buck from across the lower level where he was restocking one of the trucks. As Eddie looked closer, he noticed that Hen was actually sporadically looking at Marcum too, this quiet, cold fury in her dark eyes that had Eddie frowning lightly in confusion.

Eddie felt his own hackles rise a little at seeing so many people looking at Buck. It was Friday now but the horrifying events of Monday were still fresh on everyone's minds, almost like an invisible fog that had settled over the station with no plans to dissipate any time soon. Eddie forced himself to turn his eyes away from the man he was irrevocably in love with and focus on making sure the weights he was adding to the bar were secure and not too much for him to handle.

Once he was sure that everything was secure and safe, Eddie sat down on the bench. He was just about to call one of the other firefighters that was nearby over when as he laid down fully into the slanted cushion he found himself staring up into a pair of striking but guarded blue eyes. Buck loomed over him with a neutral look on his face as he spoke.

" I got you Eddie." He said quietly before he looked away, a million different things swirling within those deep, reservoir like orbs.

Eddie felt several powerful emotions rise up inside him, pure elation warring with crushing, all-consuming guilt and self-loathing, because even though Buck was here with him, the divide was there with hurt and anger coiled around the space between them like barbed wire and landmines.

" Thanks Buck." Eddie said softly, not wanting to risk anything more because he doubted Buck would appreciate his grinning like a fool or making a huge deal out of him voluntarily being Eddie's spotter.

With that in mind Eddie focused making sure he had a secure hold on the bar before he lifted it up and then started slowly pumping it up and down, doing his reps. Buck was ever vigilant and constant, and Eddie was hyperaware of this. He would have gladly pumped until his arms gave out if it meant that Buck would simply stay by him, just stay close like he was now.

Even though Buck was still staying with him and Christopher, Eddie knew that it was mostly for Christopher's benefit and not for him. To have Buck so near physically but oceans away emotionally made something in Eddie growl with that all too familiar rage and frustration. That itch under his skin that he desperately needed to scratch was rearing its ugly head. He wanted so badly to go and fight tonight, to go and vent his frustration through punches and kicks, unleashing the primal fury that had been building for days. He had originally been mad at Buck, but now he was just mad at himself, and yeah, mad at Leukemia for being such a god-awful ailment, for daring to come anywhere near his Buck, for even existing at all. But he wouldn't go, Eddie would be with Christopher and Buck, they would play video games and more importantly, they would be together to make up for lost time.

" Eddie stop, take a break." Buck said as he grabbed the weighted bench press bar, cutting through Eddie's desolate and angry thought and pausing him mid lift.

Eddie stopped and realized he was breathless and his arms were burning. He had been so caught up in his thoughts that he'd actually worked up a good sweat and reached the limits of his endurance without properly noticing. With fingers that felt like rubber, Eddie released his hold on the bar and Buck safely places it back on the metal holders with a soft clang.

" You ok?" Buck asked as he stared at Eddie with lazer focus that made Eddie's skin tingle for a whole other reason as he sat up.

Eddie parted his lips to answer Buck when Bobby's steel-tinted voice shot out, seeming to echo through the entire firehouse.

" Marcum!" Bobby barked from the upper level, his face a picture of muted fury and his dark brown eyes zeroed in on the individual he had just named.

Marcum actually startled lightly before he shut the door to the compartment on the fire truck he had been refilling and stepped forward quicker, a look of unease and resignation taking over his features.

" Yes Captain Nash?" He asked quietly.

For a long and agonizing moment Bobby just stared at Marcum, his dark brown eyes almost boring holes into the tall, brown-haired firefighter.

" My office, now." Bobby said as he finally broke the terrible silence, his tone leaving no room for argument.

Marcum swallowed and then nodded mutely, the color rapidly draining from his features as he stepped forward and made his way towards the stairs to head up to Bobby's office. Just as Marcum started climbing Buck stepped forward, his face a lottle pale and his expression just so awfully tired as he looked up at Bobby and spoke.

" Cap it wasn't that bad, you don't have to-" He began to say when Marcum cut him off.

" No Buckley it was worse, I got no excuses. I'm just really sorry man." Marcum said quietly from where he stood on the stairs.

Buck looked surprised for a moment before his face closed off in that awful way that was so foreign and un-Buck-like as he leveled hard eyes at Marcum and spoke.

" Two whole months Jaime. Would you even be apologizing if I didn't possibly have fucking cancer?" Buck asked flatly, not pulling any punches.

Everyone watched as whatever color was left on Marcum's face drained away completely, a stricken look taking hold. He looked ready to vehemently protest when Bobby's stern voice sounded.

" Some time today Marcum." He said flatly as he leveled hard eyes on Marcum. Marcum gave Buck one last apologetic look before he scrambled up the stairs and disappeared past Bobby. Bobby then turned back to Buck, the fury leaving his eyes as he spoke.

" I am handling this Buck, please." He said quietly but firmly.

Buck looked up at Bobby, a myriad of things passing between them before Buck deflated and nodded before he turned away. Ignoring all the eyes that were glued to him, Buck made his way back to Eddie. Bobby looked around, servailing the mess that still remained before he turned and headed to his office to deal with Jaime Marcum.

Wanting to distract Buck, Eddie quickly laid back down on the benchpress and reached for the bar. When he looked up at Buck he saw that the younger man had his attention focused on the upper level, where a serious looking Hen was looking back at him with a somber and curious Chimney standing beside her.

Buck and Hen stared at each other in a silent impasse, dark eyed meeting striking blue. Hen was unwavering and unapologetic, while Buck was silent and unreadable. Then Buck blinked and let out a deep sigh before he gave Hen a nod and his eyes actually warmed before he turned his attention back to Eddie. Feeling relief course through him but not wanting to make a big deal out of it, Eddie focused most of his attention on doing another set of reps all the while with his eyes glancing up in time to see Hen sag a little in relief herself before Chim started speaking to her quietly, no doubt wanting to know what was going on. Eddie wanted to know too, wanted to know immediately what Jaime Marcum had to do with everything, but he staved off on it, focusing fully on his workout and finishing this last rep before switching with Buck and spotting for him.

They worked out for several minutes more, they and everyone else glancing in the direction of Bobby's office and wondering what was going on behind the door between Bobby and Marcum.

Buck and Eddie had grabbed quick showers after they'd worked up a sweat, Eddie trailing behind Buck as he did up the last couple of buttons of his uniform shirt as they made their way up the stairs to the second level. They had just started making their way to the kitchen when the slow shuffling of feet caught their attention. They both turned and froze when they saw a pale and utterly dejected Jaime Marcum finally step out of Bobby's' office. A grim and determined Bobby stepped out after him, sending Marcum a hard look before jerking his head sharply, indicating Marcum better follow him.

Whatever Eddie was expecting, Bobby making Marcum fully and sincerely apologize to Buck in front of everyone for cornering him and saying such nasty and hurtful things to him constantly for two months was not it. Eddie had wanted nothing more than to punch Marcum's face clean of his skull but he thankfully refrained and stuck by Buck's side even though the younger man had closed himself off again. They all listened as Bobby explained that while what Marcum had done was reprehensible it hadn't reached the same level as Johnson, Ricciutti, and Coleman's actions had. For that reason Marcum found himself suspended for two weeks without pay, a mark on his work record for bullying, and he would have to go through counseling and sensitivity training before his coming back to the firehouse would even be considered.

Bobby then dismissed Marcum, and with another croaked out apology to Buck the man slunk away to the locker room to change out of his uniform and go home to start his suspension immediately. For once there was no call to distract and Bobby addressed everyone at the firehouse and made in clear in no uncertain terms that if anyone else had said or done anything to Buck over these last couple of months, they better take the opportunity apologize to Buck right here and now.

Several people stepped forward and Eddie watched on in admiration as Buck accepted the apologies with quiet, guarded grace.

Then Bobby himself had stepped forward. In front of everyone he had admitted that his cold-shoulder treatment, his shunning of Buck had set the hellish tone, had emboldened the maliciousness of those under him and that he would always be sorry for it. There was plenty more Bobby wanted to say and do, but a more private setting away from the abundantly inhabited firehouse was in order.

A call had come in about ten minutes after that and everyone went running to deal with it. It ended up being a minor car accident in which the injuries were thankfully minor and the jaws of life had made quick work of getting the two drivers out of the their moderately mangled vehicles. When they had arrived back to the station and gotten out of their gear, Eddie, Chim, and Hen were surprised but not at all displeased to see Bobby in the kitchen preparing dinner for everyone with Buck as his sous chef. There was still tension underneath the interaction, but at least they were interacting and Bobby even managed to earn a few small smiles from Buck as he taught him a new flipping method he had picked up off YouTube.

By the end of the day Eddie had taken Buck home, the both of them nervous but also eager for tomorrow to come, because they had gotten an invite to Bobby and Athena's for lunch.

_Early afternoon on Saturday..._

" You ready man?" Eddie asked as he turned off the ignition of his truck and looked to the front passenger seat where Buck had just taken off his seatbelt.

" As ready as I'll ever be." Buck said with a sigh.

A soft little giggle behind them had both Eddie and Buck turned and smiling back at Chris as he bestowed on them one of his megawatt grins. Eddie and Buck eagerly climbed out of the vehicle and made their way to the back. Eddie pulled the door open and Buck got Chris out of his special car seat and scooped him into his arms. Eddie grabbed up Chris' walking canes and the baking pan that contained the empanada's his abuelita had sent them for today's special lunch invite. A happy little giggle had Eddie turning and instantly smiling with a wave of warm love washing over him as he saw a chuckling Buck tenderly holding Chris in his arms and playfully peppering the boy's grinning face with noisy kisses.

Eddie once again felt a painfully yearning for Buck. He quickly pushed that aside and stepped forward.

" C'mon lovey dovies." He beckoned playfully as he led the way up the path to the front door of Bobby and Athena's house.

They were greeted at the door by the ever radiant Athena. She grinned brightly as greeted Buck and Christopher with hugs and kisses to each, ushering them inside. When Eddie stepped up Athena gave him a measuring look while his own was apologetic. There was this moment of all consuming tension and then Athena sighed and smiled quietly at Eddie before gathering him into her arms. Eddie let go of the breath he was holding and wrapped his arms around Athena as best he could with the canes he was holding in one hand and the foil covered tray he had in the other, blinking his eyes rapidly as he felt them burn a little. Eddie and Athena gave each other a tight squeeze before they let go and Athena ushered Eddie inside.

In the living room Bobby, May, and Harry were gathered around Buck and Chris. Bobby was tellingly standing back a bit, just watching as his step-son and step-daughter warmly greeted Chris and Buck, peppering them both about how they were and is Harry's case if they wanted to try out his newest video game acquisition. There was an uncertainty to the fire captain's face, mixed with a deep yearning as his brown eyes gazed at Buck.

Dressed simply in blue jeans, a white t-shirt and a pale gray button up shirt over it, Buck still looked a thousand times better than he had on Monday. The bruise-like smudges were gone from under his eyes and the gauntness to his features was already well on its way out. It just brought it home again how much Bobby had screwed up, what he had allowed to happen to Buck because he had been too busy nursing hurt feelings that now seemed so trivial in the wake of what Buck and by proxy all of them were now facing.

As he watched Eddie and Athena join Buck, Chris, Harry, and May, Bobby felt his heart lurch at the thought of the young man at the center of the little gathering being stricken with a life-threatening disease.

Leukemia.

The young man who was Bobby's pseudo-son whether he would admit it aloud or not, was facing leukemia, and they still had to wait today and tomorrow before Buck's test results would come in.

At a knowing look from his beloved Athena, Bobby snapped out of his thoughts and stepped forward.

" Hey Buck." He said casually with a hopeful smile.

" Hey Bobby." Buck said quietly, guardedly.

" Bobby!" Chris said as he reached out his little arms towards the fire captain.

Bobby's smile widened as he immediately rushed forward to hug the radiantly smiling Christopher Diaz. Bobby subtly reached out with one of his hands and gave Buck's shoulder a firm squeeze while he hugged Chris, gladdened beyond measure when Buck didn't reject his touch. Bobby drew away a few moments later and turned his attention to Eddie, giving him a quick hug it was like the switch was flipped and Athena and Bobby went straight into mom and dad mode as they ushered everyone to the table to enjoy the delicious spread that was the heavenly combination of their incomparable cooking skills.

It wasn't lost on Buck that Bobby and Athena had gone and made some of his favorite dishes for this little get together. Buck could feel Bobby's subtle eyes him the entire time, quietly making sure he ate plenty. Inevitably the food was enjoyed to the fullest, and there had been plenty of laughs with the kids regaling everyone with hilarious stories of school mishaps and happenings. Once the dishes were cleared, Athena and Eddie made quick work of leading the kids outside to the backyard. Buck had moved to join them but Athena had stopped him with a single look. There was no use trying to fight her so Buck had sighed and nodded in acquiescence.

Now Buck and Bobby were sitting on the sofa side by side, an unsure silence between them. It was Bobby who finally broke it.

" How are you doing Buck?" He asked carefully as he turned his eyes to the younger man.

Buck met Bobby's gaze and then quickly looked away, seeming to contemplate what he should say. Bobby watched as a myriad of emotions crossed Buck's face before something seemed to finally crumble behind his eyes. Buck pursed his lips and took a deep breath before he finally looked back up at Bobby and spoke.

" Not too good." He said softly.

Bobby immediately felt his own eyes begin to burn and his throat constricted painfully. He swallowed thickly and forced the lump away as he spoke.

" Not surprising." He replied.

Buck huffed wetly and nodded before his face took on a deeply hurt look as he spoke.

" Why did this happen to us Bobby?" He asked as his breath hitched.

" We both went about things the wrong way. I never should have kept you out of the field without talking to you face to face. If we had talked things through you would have had an understanding of where I was coming from instead of getting blindsided." Bobby said with regret marring his tone.

" What would you have said?" Buck asked with curiosity.

Bobby sighed and nodded.

" I would have asked you to take more time to heal, to process what you went through with the truck and Freddie. I would have assured you and sworn to you that no one would have taken your place-" Bobby began to explain before Buck cut him off.

" Bobby, you guys let Lena Bosko tape over my name at the station. If someone came to the station and did that to your name over your office how would you have felt, after everything you went through to become Captain and get back to some place good?" Buck challenged.

Bobby sighed and hung his head.

" I know Buck and I am so sorry, I didn't think you would mind, she was only with us for a few weeks while her house got themselves back together after the tsunami. I should have realized how it looked but I honestly thought you wouldn't mind, that you understood it was your name engraved into metal and her's was just some tape that would come off in a few days." Bobby said with a helpless shrug and apology in his brown eyes.

" It really sucked Bobby. You guys are my family, besides Maddie I have no one else to turn to, Hell even Eddie let her call him 'Diaz'. What hurts even worse is that she's not a bad person at all, she actually this really great woman and firefighter so I felt even more awful for thinking bad about her, I just couldn't help it." Buck said firmly before he sighed and shook his head.

" I made some huge mistakes too, like ignoring that my leg was hurting real bad and then the blood clots happened, for letting that lawyer get into my head, for filing that stupid lawsuit, for thinking it was happening all over again." Buck finished softly as his eyes finally began to fill with tears.

Bobby immediately caught onto Buck's last words and frowned.

"What do you mean it was happening again?" He asked with deep concern and confusion.

Buck stiffened instantly and his eyes widened in fear as he looked back at Bobby.

" Buck?" Bobby asked gently, a worried look in his face as he slowly reached out, telegraphing his movements before carefully setting his hand over Buck's shoulder and squeezing it hard as he spoke and glad beyond words that Buck allowed his touch.

" It's okay Buck, whatever it is you can tell me. I won't breathe a word of it to anyone." Bobby said, meaning it with every fiber of his being. He had broken enough of Buck's trust already, he wasn't going to risk one more molecule of it.

Buck looked so deeply conflicted and fearful for several long moments before he took in a deep, shaky breath and spoke.

" You know I put in for the SEALs, but something happened before that, something I guess I am still not all the way over. It changed my life and Maddie's when she found out." Buck began before he sniffled lightly and continued.

" You being the one to keep me out of the field wasn't the first time I have had the rug pulled out from under me about something that was really important to me. Only difference is that I actually love and trust you, so that made it hurt worse." Buck said, sending Bobby an awful, pained little smile before he shook his head and powered on with his explanation.

" I had just graduated from high school and I got a full ride to UCLA on a basketball scholarship. I was going to major in history since I enjoy researching so much. My dad though, my dad wanted me to go into law and be like him. Maddie had already married Doug and moved away by then. At first he just tried to convince me with talks and advice, but me refusing every time became almost like a challenge he needed to win with me. I just wanted to be my own person but he couldn't stand that I didn't want to be just like him. It wasn't for my benefit, it was all about his reputation and the picture he wanted to present to everyone else since Maddie basically disappeared of the face of the earth because of Doug. I thought I would just start college and be on my way, but that didn't happen because a week before I was supposed to fly out to here, I was having dinner with him and mom and he tells me he wrote a note to UCLA declining their offer and my scholarship and lost me my place." Buck said with his voice wavering violently at the very end.

Bobby actually gasped, his jaw on the floor and his eyes wide with horror.

" Oh my God... Buck?" He asked in utter shock as he reached out with his other hand and cupped Buck's pale cheek. Buck's breath hitched violently and the tears finally spilled free as he spoke.

" He was just so nonchalant about it, he either really didn't think about how devastated I'd be or he just didn't care. All he wanted was another lawyer in the family, wanted to keep me under his thumb in Pennsylvania. Mom just kept eating her dinner and then she fixed herself some scotch and went upstairs. She didn't say a word, not one single word." Buck said with a haunted look on his face.

Bobby let out a long shaky breath, his eyes glancing to his and Athena's dining table a few feet away and remember that night where Athena had invited Buck over for dinner and he had been so heartfelt in asking Bobby for his support in getting his job back, only for Bobby to casually reveal that he was himself the very one who was holding Buck back.

" I made you relive everything that happened with your dad without even knowing it." Bobby said softly with pure dread and mortification. His blood was also set boiling at the thought of Buck's father doing what he did, not for what he thought was best for his child, but for what he wanted for himself.

Buck just averted his gaze and said nothing for a long while before he reached out and wiped at his face, letting out a profound breath before he spoke.

" A little bit, but you are nothing like him Bobby. It took me a while to see it but I do now, you weren't keeping me out of the field because of your own ego, you were just trying to take care of me, trying to keep me and everyone safe because that's your job, and because you actually do want what's best for all of us. After my dad did what he did, I still packed up everything and flew out here to try and figure out what to do. Sure I call home every now and then but I haven't seen either of my parents physically in years, and I still don't want to. With you and the 118 I just wanted to have all of you back Bobby. The lawsuit just... I thought it was the only thing I could do... I am so sorry for putting you all through this, for being to stupid-" The rest of Buck's words were cut off by Bobby yanking him into his arms and crushing him tight.

" You aren't stupid, don't you dare call yourself stupid ever again. I am the one who should have told you from the get go. I blindsided you and then I let my hurt feelings cloud my judgment, I allowed the team to shun you, and it led to others bullying you, and actually attacking you physically. I don't deserve to be even your captain, let alone your father-figure." Bobby croaked out.

" No Bobby, it's okay, you're okay." Buck assured as he hugged Bobby back tightly.

There were a few long moments of silent marred only by the sounds of quiet crying. Then Buck spoke against Bobby's shoulder.

" I am gonna get my results on Monday." He said quietly.

Bobby once again felt the bottom drop out of his stomach as the other problem that loomed over his boy hit him with full force.

Possible leukemia, Goddamn cancer, and Buck had already been dealing with it alone for a whole week before his wife had soundly pulled his and everyone else's heads out of their asses and tore them all new ones for good measure.

" I am gonna go with you, we are all going to go with you to the doctor's." Bobby declared when Buck let out a watery chuckle and shook his head.

" No Bobby, you guys have to be at the station for calls and besides that, Eddie kinda already called dibs without actually saying it." He said as he drew away a little but remained in Bobby's.

" Color me not surprised." Bobby said with a chuckle of his own.

Bobby held onto Buck a little while longer, giving him reassurance and talking with him further. When enough tears had been shed and they wanted to move on from the seclusion that living room of the Grant-Nash house had provided, a finally smiling Buck gestured for Bobby to follow him out to the backyard, and the sunshine.

" C'mon Bobby, let's go play some hot potato." Buck grinned, gesturing to the heavenly scene of Athena, Eddie, and the kids all laughing while having a brilliant time tossing a pillow among themselves, even May smiling and playfully bonking Harry in the face when the pillow when the pillow came her way.

Bobby didn't need to be told twice as he hurried up off the sofa.


	7. Reconciliation4

Disclaimer: I do not now, nor have I ever owned the rights to 911 or its characters. It all belongs to Fox TV and the show's creators like Brad Falchuk and whoever else.

Warning: Strong sexual content

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The reconciliations: Edmundo's Epic Faceplant and The Fire Family Truly Restored

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Eddie shut he door to his locker and adjusted the strap of his duffle bag. It was the end of another long but good day at the fire house. However it hadn't been all the way fulfilling since Buck hadn't been there by his side, what with it being his day off. Buck had spent the day with Chris and his Abuelita Eddie wasn't above admitting that he had been mildly envious.

It had been two weeks since Buck's doctor had cleared him of the leukemia that had loomed over him and everyone else at the station and Eddie could say that this time had been among some of the most happiest he had ever experienced. The team had come together and healed tremendously from all the festering woulds the truck, the tsunami, and the lawsuit had all caused. The light had returned to Buck's eyes and though they had taken a step back from plunging headfirst into a full relationship, Eddie could say that he was madly in love and filled with so much hope. It also helped that Buck was still staying with him and Christopher, becoming a welcome fixture in their lives once more.

As he headed out of the locker room he said his goodbyes to Bobby, Hen, and Chim, assuring them that he, Buck, and Chris would be there for the get together Bobby and Athena were hosting at their house tomorrow, the first one since the night where they had all gathered for Buck to reveal his possible diagnosis to Maddie, Karen, and Michael, and where he, Bobby, Hen, and Chim had all been taken to task for how they had treated Buck and their failure to see what others had the station had done to him.

Eddie headed for his truck and climbed in. He peeled out of the firehouse parking lot and headed home with eagerness strumming through him. He made a quick stop to the grocery store to pick up some milk and some chewy chocolate chip cookies that he knew both his boys would enjoy. With a smile perpetually gracing his face Eddie drove the home. He smoothly pulled into the driveway of his house, quietly pleased to see that Buck's dark silver jeep was already parked further inward. Eddie turned off the ignition and got out with his duffle bag and groceries.

He fished his keys out and let himself into his house. When he looked into the living room to find it deserted rather than having Chris and Buck building legos or watching a movie, Eddie frowned lightly before he set his duffle bag down by the front door. Making a quick stop to set the bag of milk and cookies down on the kitchen counter, Eddie made his way over to the guest room where Buck was staying. When he found the room to be empty Eddie frowned lightly before he walked further down the hall. When he came to Chris' room he found it devoid of one special and darling little son of his.

With his confused frown deepening, Eddie turned away from Chris' room and stepped further down the hall and then rounded the corner thinking maybe Buck and Chris were perhaps in the laundry room. He had only rounded the corner when he crashed into something solid, lightly damp, and very much alive. With a pair of yelps Eddie and his houseguest went crashing to the floor. They landed as a pile of tangled limbs and mildly pained grunts. Eddie found himself with his vision completely blacked out and his face smooshed between a pair of solidly built pectorals.

" Ow Eddie!" Buck groaned from under his best friend, completely stunned. Eddie pushed himself up a little, unburying his face from its rather supple resting spot and looked down, his dark eyes meeting Buck's pale blue. Eddie felt his face heat up in embarrassment, but he also fought back the desire to put his face right back where it was because in all honesty it was a great spot.

Then Eddie noticed the rest of Buck, how the only thing he happened to have on was a fluffy dark blue towel around his waist, the end having come dangerously untucked with Buck's sharp hipbones on full display along with his well built upper body.

" B-Buck?" Eddie asked eloquently, blinking owlishly as his brain caught up with the situation.

He had just crashed into his best friend, who had just taken a shower, and they were on the floor tangled together.

" You okay?" Buck asked as he pushed himself up onto his elbows and gazed up at Eddie with concern shining in his bright eyes.

" Y-Yeah, where's Christopher?" Eddie asked, trying to ignore Buck's state of undress.

" Oh he's with his buddy Randy across the street, he wanted Chris over so they could play the new racing game he just got." Buck explained, squirming a little against the floor. .

Buck started to push himself up all the way, expecting Eddie to push himself up and away too, so it threw him when Eddie didn't move away and instead leaned in closer, his dark brown eyes black and filled with what Buck could only describe as hunger as they bore into him intensely. The next thing Buck knew he was being seized by strong yet gentle hands and yanked up off the floor onto his feet. Before he could make heads or tails of what was happening, Buck found himself with his back against the hallway wall, Eddie somehow looming over him despite him being that taller one between towel around Buck's waist loosened even further, riding further down his hips

" E-Eddie?" Buck whispered in shock as he gawked at Eddie.

Eddie didn't say a word, just stared back at Buck with the deep want he was feeling. It didn't take long for Buck to realize what was going on, what Eddie wanted. In an instant Buck felt something molten hot unfurl in the put of his stomach, his own blood roaring in his ears. Buck let out a shaky breath and slowly raised his arms, reaching out towards Eddie slowly, telegraphing his movements and giving the other man every chance to step away.

Eddie gasped softly as Buck wrapped his arms around him, his own arms lifting and wrapping around the taller man's barely towel clad waist seemingly of their own volition. Buck let out a soft, shaky breath of his own as he felt Eddie's arms around him, the feel of the fabric of Eddie's light jacket sleeves against his bare skin sending shivers through him. Eddie and Buck's ever sense was heightened, both men hyperaware of the other, almost intoxicated by it all. For what seemed a life-age they just stood there holding each other, reveling in the experience. It was Eddie who finally broke the silence, pressing his lips to Buck's ear as he spoke.

" God you are so beautiful Evan." He whispered huskily his hands seeming to tingle at the feel of Buck's bare skin beneath his palms.

Buck let out a soft chuckle, feeling his cheeks heat up a little at the complement. Then he grew sober and pulled back from Eddie, unwrapping his arms from around the older man to reach up and tenderly take his face into his hands as he spoke.

" You trying to sweet-talk me Edmundo?" He teased before he pulled Eddie's head towards his own and pressed their foreheads together, earning a soft gasp from the older man before Eddie grinned back at him.

" Is it working?" He asked as he gazed into those blue eyes he loved so much.

Buck grinned brightly at Eddie before his eyes turned mischievous. Eddie frowned lightly as Buck let go of him and side stepped him. He watched Buck make his way to the corner around which his own bedroom was located. Buck paused, sending Eddie this wordless, heated look before with a smirk he disappeared around the corner. Eddie took a step forward and then stopped when something flew through the air from around the corner and landed at his feet.

When he looked down and saw what it was, Eddie felt all of his blood rush South and his heart pounded against his sternum.

There on the floor was the dark blue towel Buck had been wearing... the _only_ thing he had been wearing.

" Oh my..." Eddie breathed before he quickly hurried around the corner, shedding his jacket and t-shirt and tossing them to the floor as he went.

When he reached his bedroom, the sight that greeted him on the other side of the door had Eddie's knees almost going out from under him.

Buck was waiting for him on his bed, without even the sheets providing him any cover. Swallowing thickly Eddie shed the rest of his clothes and in a bout of playfulness gracefully leapt onto his bed to join Buck. Buck let out a loud bark of laughter, but he ended in a sharp gasp as Eddie covered his bare body with his own. They came together in a deep, searing kiss, pouring all of the want and love they had been keeping to themselves into it.

Buck tried to get his hands everywhere he could on Eddie, loving the way the older man's powerful back muscles coiled beneath his palms, soaking up his warmth. Eddie lost himself in the taste of Buck's lips, loving how their bodies fit so well together as they undulated against each other, feeling for themselves the kind of affect they had on each other.

When they broke apart with a gasp, Eddie set to work on Buck's neck with his lips and his teeth, one of his hands trailing down the younger man's chest, seeking out one of the buds that graced his pec. Buck gasped and arched magnificently as Eddie's fingers worked the bud and sent lighten bolts of pleasure through his entire body. He groaned without shame and lost himself completely to Eddie.

Things devolved rapidly after that, flesh was touched, lingering walls were torn down, the room was filled with unabashed sounds of pleasure, and most importantly, a true forgiveness was reached between the two best friends turned lovers.

_A couple of hours later..._

" I am gonna get all pruny thanks to you." Buck grumbled with mock indignation against the back of Eddie's neck, the other man letting out a low, rumbling chuckle and leaning back against Buck. He gave Buck's hand a firm squeeze before he slowly rolled over with a groan to lay facing the younger man.

" You'd be one hot prune." He rumbled with a grin as Buck barked out an amused laugh and then leaned in for a couple of chaste kisses. They drew apart with a sigh before Buck spoke as he ran his hand up and down Eddie's smooth back.

" We really should get up though, two hours is pushing it and we need our Superman back." Buck said with warmth in his eyes and an eager grin on his face.

The next thing Buck knew he was being all but tackled and kissed very enthusiastically. Buck let out a muffled laugh as he kissed Eddie back, his laugh coming out fully when they drew back and Eddie started kissing along his jawline and down to his neck.

" I love it when you call him ours." Eddie said softly between kisses behind Buck's ear.

Buck turned and looked up at Eddie in quiet wonder.

" You don't mind?" He asked almost unsure. Eddie drew back and loomed over Buck as he spoke.

" No, not at all, after everything you did for him and me, after I've seen just how much you love him, of course we want to be yours Buck, just like you are ours." Eddie said with all the conviction he possessed inside him.

Buck felt something inside him burst with pure joy as with a slightly watery laugh he leaned up and took his turn kissing Eddie almost senseless.

They eventually did break apart and head to the bathroom for a quick and moderately tame shower to cleanse themselves of their earlier, highly pleasurable activities.

Sharing kisses and dodging playful towel snaps at each other, Eddie and Buck quickly split off to their designated rooms and got dressed. Eddie came out of his room dressed in dark blue jeans and a dark blue Henley, as he came around the corner Buck stepped out of the guest room wearing a black and white striped polo shirt with a crisp white button up shirt over it and black jeans.

They grinned at each other, Eddie leaning in for a kiss that Buck happily accepted before they headed out the door to go to Randy's next door. Chris came shuffling out and his face instantly came alight with the pure joy that was his signature.

" Daddy! Bucky!" Chris called with a happy laugh as Eddie swept his boy up into his arms and effectively smothered his face with kisses while Buck grinned and thanked Randy and his mom and dad for inviting Chris over. The trio headed back across to their house, Chris regaling them with how great the new racing game Randy and he played was.

" Sounds awesome Superman, now how does cheesy pasta for dinner sound?" Buck asked as he opened the front door and held it open for Eddie and Chris to step through first.

" Yes please!" Both Eddie and Chris answered in perfect sync, earning a laugh from Buck as he shut the door and followed after father and son.

The three of them lounged about the living room for a bit, Eddie and Buck listening attentively with matching smiles as Chris recounted some of the hilarious fails he and Randy had while playing the video game and the three of them all played nonsensically with Chris' legos. Then Eddie took Chris to get his evening bath out of the way and Buck got started on the cheesy dinner he promised them. For the first time in a long time Buck finally felt fully like himself, the dark clouds that lawsuit and the possible leukemia had brought, clouds that seemed endless and permanent finally having lifted from him completely. He had other dark clouds that proved more stubborn, but they were in the background now.

He was okay right now, he was happy and with a couple of special men who meant the world to him.

Once the water was boiling and properly seasoned with salt and olive oil as per Bobby's fool-proof instructions, Buck dumped in the bow-tie pasta and then got to work on the cheesy sauce. He had just added the milk to the roux as Bobby had called it when there was a warm, familiar presence behind him. Buck gasps softly and almost dropped the wooden spoon in his hand as he felt Eddie's warm lips press a kiss to the back of his neck.

" Hey Eds, did Chris insist on dressing himself?" Buck asked knowingly as he leaned back against Eddie and the older man ran his hands gently over his wide shoulders.

" Yeah, little man picked out what he wanted and got to work, practically ordered me to come check on his Buck." Eddie said as he nosed lightly at the back of Buck's head and neck, earning a wonderful chuckle from the taller man as he went back to stirring what he was cooking.

They lapsed into a comfortable silence, Eddie staying close behind Buck and watching him work some of the magic he picked up from Bobby, pouring in the two different kinds of cheese into the roux and then adding him Bobby's patented blend of spices and herbs that would definitely make it taste even more divine. In no time Buck had two big bowls and a smaller bowl heaping with fresh, cheesy bow tie pasta. He turned to ask Eddie to help him set the kitchen table when he suddenly found himself pulled into a tight embrace, warm and insistent lips covering his own in a deep kiss. Buck let out a muffled chuckle as he kissed Eddie back whole-heartedly. They were so caught up in enjoying this brand new level of closeness between them that neither heard the tell-tale clatter of crutches against the floor until a certain bespectacled cutie-pie was lightly clearing his throat.

Eddie and Buck broke apart with a gasp and wide eyes, before they both slowly turned their heads to see Chris standing there, dressed in his favorite Spiderman t-shirts and dark blue sweatpants. Chris gazed back at them with a surprisingly unreadable look on his normally expressive face. Eddie and Buck shared a fleeting look, about to let go of each other and try to explain when Chris' face morphed into one of his brilliant grins as he chuckled angelically and spoke.

"About time you guys."Chris said like he held the key to the whole universe.

There was a beat of silence where Eddie and Buck blinked owlishly at Chris, then Buck's face split into a wide grin, Eddie's following before they were both rushing forward and picking Chris up between them. The three of them laughed and hugged happily before Chris looked to Buck and spoke.

"You're gonna be our Buck forever?"Chris asked softly, hope and the smallest bit of uncertainty shining in his bright eyes.

Buck had to swallow back the lump that formed in his throat before he nodded and spoke.

"Y-Yeah buddy, gonna be your Buck forever." He croaked out, seeing that Eddie was barely holding it together himself before he wrapped his arms firmly around the Diaz men and held them tight. Buck pressed a kiss to Chris and Eddie's cheek each before they set Chris down.

"C'mon, cheesy pasta is ready and waiting. Gotta see who eats the most." Eddie said with a crooked smile and love in his dark eyes.

"Yeah let's eat!" Buck said with a small sniffle before he went off to get the bowls of pasta while Eddie got Chris settled at the table. Eddie then grabbed the utensils they would need and set them at each place setting before he and Buck took their seats on either side of Chris.

Sharing smiles and quietly loving looks the trio finally dug into dinner, but more importantly they did so together. The rest of the night was spent watching one of Chris' favorite Disney movies and just enjoying the warmth that only being close to the ones who held your heart could give. When it was time for bed, Eddie and Buck both read Chris his bedtime story, showering their Superman with hugs and kisses before tucking him in.

Eddie may have fallen on his face today, but it had been straight into the arms of the man he was madly in love with. Buck hadn't minded and it had led to them finally reaching that good place they had been skirting around for weeks.

As they lay together in Eddie's bed, drowsy with oncoming slumber themselves, Eddie made a silent promise to always cherish what he had now, the man in his arms and the family they made. With Buck and Christopher he had that little slice of Heaven everyone dreams about. He aimed to hold onto it for as long as he breathed. Pressing a kiss to an already fast asleep Buck's forehead, Eddie shut his own eyes an drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

_The next day, on a lovely Saturday afternoon..._

"If those two glow any harder, the Sun's literally gonna go on vacation."Hen quipped good-naturedly as she stirred the pitcher of iced tea she was making.

"You got that right."Athena agreed as she sprinkled the crumbles of feta cheese over the large bowl of Caesar salad she was preparing.

Behind her Bobby chuckled and nodded in agreement himself as he added the final touches to the homemade burger patties he was preparing to take out to the grill, where Michael was waiting to showcase his legendary grilling skills. He and Bobby were tag-teaming to make sure today's lunch would be nothing short of Michelin star worthy.

The subjects of the seasoned EMT, Police, Sergeant, and Fire Captain were currently outside in Bobby and Athena's backyard helping with setting up the long table and chairs. Buck and Eddie were both smiling and looking at each other constantly with love on full display. They weren't making out like teenagers or just standing around and admiring each other, but the moment they had arrived for the get together everyone could tell that something had shifted, and something else had finally clicked back into place.

They had come into the house with Christopher while holding hands without shame for Pete's sake.

"It's just great that our Buckaroo's back."Athena said with a smile as she looked out at the backyard in time to see Buck throw his head back and laugh at something Chim just told him, the older man grinning triumphantly, looking quite pleased with himself. Maddie giggled beside her boyfriend, looking just as bright as her brother as she laughed.

"Our boy Eddie's just gone."Hen chuckled as she, Athena, and Bobby all saw the way Eddie was staring at Buck as the blue eyed man laughed, looking completely besotted.

Karen and May giggled together at the sight while Michael smiled as he poked at the charcoal that was going good now, of course Denny, Harry, and Chris were busy playing the cornhole board to really notice what was going on with Eddie and Buck.

Bobby, Athena, and Hen quickly finished up the food items they were preparing and headed outside.

Bobby made a b-line for Michael who grinned eagerly at his arrival with the burgers while Hen and Athena made their way to the table, setting down their pitchers and bowl respectively. Hen made her way over to Buck, grinning widely when he pulled her into an impromptu hug. She chuckled throatily to hide the powerful emotions this simple gesture from the friend who was more like a little brother to her caused to ride up in her as she patted the back of Buck's head.

"Where's my hug?"Chim asked with a dramatic flair and a mock pout.

The next thing Chim knew, tiny arms were wrapping around his waist and squeezing him. Chim looked down and found Christopher Diaz grinning up at him brilliantly as he spoke.

"Don't worry Chimney... We love you lots."Chris said in that soft and soothing way of his. Hen and Buck drew back and grinned at the adorable sight, Eddie all but beaming with pride at his sweet boy.

Instantly Chim's eyes grew a little watery as he smiled down at the darling boy and gathered him in for a full hug. Beside him Maddie just about melted.

"Thanks Buddy, you're the best."Chim said and if there was a slight croak to his voice, no one commented on it.

The hug got even sweeter as Buck promptly joined them, wrapping his arms around Chim and Chris in one of his patented bear-hugs, laughing loud and happy but also giving Chim this look that told the older man that they were well and truly ok.

Once Buck, Chris, and Chim's little love-fest ended Eddie made his way over to Bobby and Michael to see if he could pick up some grilling tips. Buck made his way over to Karen and Athena, catching up with them and taking their gentle teasing regarding him and Eddie in stride, a smile never leaving his face.

"You guys look like you're fully back to good." Bobby said with a smile at Eddie, who ducked his head shyly before he looked to Bobby and nodded.

"I am really glad." Bobby said as he reached out and gave Eddie's shoulder a squeeze.

"Thanks Cap." Eddie said quietly before they turned their attention back to Michael it time to see him flip not one but two burgers at the same time, a spatula in each hand and a wide, triumphant smile on his face. After a few minutes Bobby broke away, leaving Eddie to Michael's tutelage and made his way over to Buck, who had Chris in his arms. Bobby's smile widened as he saw the pair were busy making silly faces at each other.

"Cap!" Chris said with a wide grin when he caught sight of Bobby making his way towards him and Buck. Bobby's chuckled as Chris raised his arms from Buck's neck and made grabby hands for him.

The fire captain wasted no time taking the boy into his arms and hugging him soundly, Chris all the while giggling happily. Buck chuckled and reached out to ruffle Chris' curly hair.

"Hey Cap." Buck said with his smile turning quiet, more thoughtful.

"You doing okay kid?" Bobby asked with a smile.

Buck's eyes immediately turned to Eddie who was standing a few feet away chuckling as he shared grilling adventures of his own with Michael. The blue eye young man ducked his head for a moment, his smile growing shy before he looked back up at Bobby and nodded.

"Yeah Bobby, I am okay. Better than okay." Buck said as a bright grinned returned to his face and he playfully poked at Chris' sides, making the boy throw his head back and guffaw happily.

"So going on insta."Came May's voice as with a smile she captured the sweet moment on her phone. Buck, Chris, and Bobby posed for a couple of more pics, May promising to send Buck and Bobby the shots later.

A few minutes later Bobby set a smiling Chris down on the grass and the boy shuffled off to see who was winning the game of connect four between Harry and Maddie.

As they watched him go Buck spoke.

"I got more good news, my doctor says I can finally get off the blood thinners next week." He said.

"Buck that's fantastic!" Bobby said as he promptly pulled the younger man into a bear hug of his own.

"Thanks Bobby." Buck said with a chuckle as he squeezed Bobby back just as tight.

If the hug lingered a bit longer than necessary, no one said anything or batted an eye, Athena looking on with approval and quiet relief.

Eddie and Chim weren't the only ones Buck was finally back to someplace good with. Unofficial father and son enjoyed a few more moments of embracing before they drew apart and shared a slightly watery laugh. Bobby made his way over to Athena and wrapped an arm around her shoulder as they shared a sweet kiss, while Buck unsurprisingly made his way to Eddie, pressing a kiss to the slight shorter man's temple, earning a look of mock indignation before Eddie smiled at his brilliantly and wrapped an arm around his waist.

"You guys are just too precious." Michael cooed, earning a pair of snorts from the newly minted couple before he chuckled and asked them to grab up the two large serving platters, the burgers, buns, and assortment of grilled vegetables were cooked to perfecting and ready to enjoy. Buck got the vegetables and bread on his platter, Eddie's was piled high with the perfectly cooked discs of beef or chicken. The pair held firm to what they were carrying and headed for the long table.

"Foods ready!" Buck called as he and Eddie set the platters down, everyone converging on the table.

With laughter and chatter, everyone sat down at the table. Bobby sat at the head, Athena and Michael on either side of him, with Harry and May sitting beside their father. Buck sat on Athena's other side with Chris between him and Eddie. Across from them were Hen, Karen, and Denny. Maddie sat beside Eddie and Chim rounded out the group by sitting at the other head of the table. A quick prayer of thanks was said.

Everyone's eyes subtly took in the sight of Eddie and Buck both doting on Chris, encouraging him to make up his own plate with one of the smaller buns and a burger with cheese on it, some mashed potatoes and vegetables.

"Mustard please." Chris said as he pointed to the bottle just out of his reach.

"On it bud." Buck said as he got the bottle for Chris. Buck then turned to preparing his own plate while Eddie made sure Chris didn't end up squirting too much mustard over his burger by accident.

Everyone got to eating and the combination of Bobby's preparation and Michael's grilling skills made for one hell of a great burger. Karen's chicken and green bean casserole was a huge hit too. The food may have been great but what made the afternoon get together so wonderful was the fact that they had finally found each other again, the 118 and their loved ones were united. No more embolisms, no tsunami, no lawsuit, and most importantly, no leukemia. The last few months had been some of the most turbulent, both due to powerful events and event more powerful emotions. Bonds had been tested, trust had been frayed to the point of almost breaking completely, and several lives came to a standstill as they had waited for a potentially fatal diagnosis.

They had gone through all of it, Buck had gone through all of it.

As he enjoyed his burger, Buck took a look around the table at the smiling and laughing faces of his family and felt the last tendrils of the darkness that had gripped his heart finally dissipate. His blue eyes found dark brown one's staring back at him.

Buck found a smile spreading across his face, Eddie smiling back at him just as brightly.

Up above the Sun kept happy vigil, bathing everything in golden warmth.


End file.
